I came to this group in hopes of dog breed information.
After reading lots of posts I find little to do with dog breeds, or even
about dogs at all. What I see here mostly is a bunch of people having a
pissing contest. Yet all the while claiming they want what is best for
the dogs. How on earth can people get anything helpful from this group
when they have to wade through so much crap? And to be honest, if some
folks were half as kind with the newbs as they claim to be with their
dogs... well they might get a LOT more accomplished. You can catch more
flies with honey than with vinegar. How about a few encouraging words
instead of ripping them apart?

And you know what? I bet every one of the ones who I am talking about
feel totally justified, and won't even bat an eye at this post, or even
be willing to think about what they bring to the table here. But heck,
if even one of you stops and thinks about the real goal of this group,
and how better to achieve it...well then I guess this was worth posting.
Notice, I didn't say all of you, nor did I name names. I don't want to
start a new flame feast (though this likely will) I just hope you would
all take a look at why you are here and what you want new people to see
when they come.

*gets off her soap box and puts on her flame retardant undies*
Flame away, as I am sure you will. Besides, I am just one of the stupid
newbs, right?

Rainy
--
I can take it, I can make it.
Like the man that you taught me to be. - Cindy Alexander
http://cindyalexander.com

In article . net,
Raindrop wrote:
Flame away, as I am sure you will. Besides, I am just one of the stupid
newbs, right?

You're a newbie. Whether or not you're stupid is up to you.

On a breed-specific mailing list I'm on (the same one on
which someone was looking for a stud for her bitch that just
came into heat) someone else posted that her bitch was
leaving what looked like bloody spots in the yard, that
she'd never owned a bitch before, and that she was wondering
whether or not her dog was in heat. From the sounds of it
it's pyometra, and her response to the news was a cheery
"Gee, thanks! I'll schedule a vet appointment for next
week." (Pyometra is extremely serious, too often fatal, and
progresses very rapidly)

Dogs are dying in US shelters by the 10s of thousands.
There are entirely too many people who really aren't willing
to fully consider what it means to go out and give someone
money for a dog, and there are too many people who aren't
willing to find out much about taking care of their dogs. I
think what's unreasonable here is to expect e-hugs and
e-kisses when someone shows every intention of making the
problem worse instead of making the problem better.
--
Melinda Shore - Software longa, hardware brevis -

43% of all private-sector jobs created in the US
from 2001 to April 2005 are housing-related

"Raindrop" wrote in message
ink.net...
I came to this group in hopes of dog breed information.
After reading lots of posts I find little to do with dog breeds, or even
about dogs at all. What I see here mostly is a bunch of people having a
pissing contest. Yet all the while claiming they want what is best for
the dogs. How on earth can people get anything helpful from this group
when they have to wade through so much crap? And to be honest, if some
folks were half as kind with the newbs as they claim to be with their
dogs... well they might get a LOT more accomplished. You can catch more
flies with honey than with vinegar. How about a few encouraging words
instead of ripping them apart?

And you know what? I bet every one of the ones who I am talking about
feel totally justified, and won't even bat an eye at this post, or even
be willing to think about what they bring to the table here. But heck,
if even one of you stops and thinks about the real goal of this group,
and how better to achieve it...well then I guess this was worth posting.
Notice, I didn't say all of you, nor did I name names. I don't want to
start a new flame feast (though this likely will) I just hope you would
all take a look at why you are here and what you want new people to see
when they come.

*gets off her soap box and puts on her flame retardant undies*
Flame away, as I am sure you will. Besides, I am just one of the stupid
newbs, right?

Rainy

Bravo, Rainy. Bravo.

--

·.·´¨ ¨)) -:¦:-
¸.·´ .·´¨¨))
Laurie
((¸¸.·´ ..·´
-:¦:- ((¸¸ ·.·

*~*LiveLoveLaugh*~* Aloha!!!!!

"There is no remedy for love but to love more"...
~~Henry David Thoreau

Melinda Shore wrote:
I
think what's unreasonable here is to expect e-hugs and
e-kisses when someone shows every intention of making the
problem worse instead of making the problem better.

I agree. Don't get me wrong here. I am not saying that there are not
some serious problems. I am saying that how it is approached makes a
HUGE difference on if the reader listens or thinks "oh screw off" and
does the opposite out of spite. I KNOW it's frustrating when you offer
sound advice and it is overlooked. But bitching people out will have the
same effect nearly 100% of the time. At least the nice approach will get
your message across in a way where there is a chance the person will
actually listen, and follow through.

Not to mention that there are lurkers....who may also follow advice if
it is presented in a more palatable manner.

I *truly* care about my dogs/animals. I will do everything I can to help
people make the best choices, in a kind way. I know I can not force feed
the info though. And it does NOT help the dogs if I try.

I just hope maybe people will reconsider their approach here. I am sure
lots of lurkers have unsubscribed and or were too fearful to ask their
questions here for fear of the reaction. How many have we lost the
opportunity to help because we decided to jump down other's throats? How
many lost chances to help?

--
I can take it, I can make it.
Like the man that you taught me to be. - Cindy Alexander
http://cindyalexander.com

Raindrop wrote in news:VYlse.5473$NX4.3775
@newsread1.news.pas.earthlink.net:

Melinda Shore wrote:
I
think what's unreasonable here is to expect e-hugs and
e-kisses when someone shows every intention of making the
problem worse instead of making the problem better.

I agree. Don't get me wrong here. I am not saying that there are not
some serious problems. I am saying that how it is approached makes a
HUGE difference on if the reader listens or thinks "oh screw off" and
does the opposite out of spite.

Communications via internet can certainly color how you approach a
particular situation. Then again, anyone who "does the opposite out of
spite" is letting their reaction to some words on a screen determine
their behavior in real life.

My relationship with my dogs, my family, and my neighbors (not
necessarily in that order) is far more important than what folks here
think or say. I'm not going to start leaving my dogs outside because I
don't like how someone phrases "dogs should be with their humans", or
use equipment or training techniques *just* because someone here either
advocated its use or was uncivil when advising against it.

I'm certainly not going to put money in the pocket of some irresponsible
hack breeder just because it's been called a really stupid idea in this
newsgroup.

The impression I get is that the first replies to a question from
someone with little history here will be informative and range in tone
from polite to blunt. Repeated "yes, but" responses from the OP will
get bitch-slapped to Coventry. Deservedly so.

Mary Healey wrote:

Communications via internet can certainly color how you approach a
particular situation. Then again, anyone who "does the opposite out of
spite" is letting their reaction to some words on a screen determine
their behavior in real life.

My relationship with my dogs, my family, and my neighbors (not
necessarily in that order) is far more important than what folks here
think or say. I'm not going to start leaving my dogs outside because I
don't like how someone phrases "dogs should be with their humans", or
use equipment or training techniques *just* because someone here either
advocated its use or was uncivil when advising against it.

I'm certainly not going to put money in the pocket of some irresponsible
hack breeder just because it's been called a really stupid idea in this
newsgroup.

Gee, who let the grownup into the group?

Must be a troll. Into the killfile with you!

Suja

If you would like to get some serious kind compassionate advice drop me
an email and I'll hook you up with the guys that have helped me
tremendously in the last week. What a concept, I ask questions and
get friendly adult advice about making my new doggies as happy as they
can be. WOW.

Email me at

On Thu, 16 Jun 2005 20:46:17 GMT, Raindrop
wrote:

Notice, I didn't say all of you, nor did I name names.

my direct supervisor is fond of calling the entire unit into a meeting
to grouse about one person's asshattery. i've never been able to figure
out what she hopes to accomplish by calling everyone on the carpet for
the behavior of one person. it seems to me that doing so only serves to
lower the morale of the entire unit, because it's guaranteed to upset
everyone except the party it's aimed at, who is *always* oblivious to
the fact that he's the evildoer. far better, it seems to me, would be
to pull the party in question aside and discuss it with them one-on-one.
that way there are no miscommunications and no collateral damage. but
what do i know?

--
shelly
http://home.bluemarble.net/~scouvrette || http://cat-sidh.blogspot.com

Now the ears of my ears awake and now the eyes of my eyes are opened.
-- e.e. cummings

There's an old saying that goes "Rather than raise your voice,
reinforce your argument". What happens is that those that don't have
the patience and commitment to explain the consequences resort to name
calling instead. They are basically wasting their own lives in a
disfunctional relationship albiet a newsgroup it is still a
disfunctional situation when there is only heat and no light.

I feel sad for every interaction I have with every human being where I
am unable to communicate in a civil productive way whether due to my
own shortcomings or their own. Life is truly too short and too unkind.
I wish only happiness and tolerance for all and hope I can be a better
person from it. Any arguement that I am involved in is truly due to my
own character flaws and lack of maturity. Peace

On Thu, 16 Jun 2005 21:14:29 GMT, Raindrop
wrote:

I am saying that how it is approached makes a
HUGE difference on if the reader listens or thinks "oh screw off" and
does the opposite out of spite.

do you think people actually *do* that? if they do, then heaven help
them, because there's no hope of them finding help here. that's a
*seriously* ****ed up approach to life!

I KNOW it's frustrating when you offer
sound advice and it is overlooked. But bitching people out will have the
same effect nearly 100% of the time. At least the nice approach will get
your message across in a way where there is a chance the person will
actually listen, and follow through.

so what do you do when someone has decided that they will do whatever
they want and damn the torpedoes? when there's no hope of changing
their minds, no matter how much sugar coating you heap on your advice?
in a perfect world, it might be reasonable to expect that people quietly
disengage from the discussion, but the reality is that people *will*
vent their frustration.

--
shelly
http://home.bluemarble.net/~scouvrette || http://cat-sidh.blogspot.com

He who does not fill his world with phantoms remains alone.
-- Antonio Porchia