"Snackle" wrote in news:1167851568.655099.228860@
48g2000cwx.googlegroups.com:

Also Tara, yes I can see that I will need thick skin on the group
because I am obviously on a site where I am a minority and up until
this point thought I was a good animal person but now feel like scum.
I am willing to make changes though and that is a good thing. But I
tell you what it is going to be awfully hard because my life is already
very full with a toddler and full time job amongst other things.....I
just wish my husband shared the same feelings as I do. I assume there
will be another discussion this evening and this time I am putting down
my foot!!!!

Don't think people here think you are awful. If you were arguing that it
was great to bring in dogs and then throw them outside by themselves or
else keep them in crates all day and night, people would be wondering
about you. But I don't think any of us started out as pet owner of the
year. I know for sure I didn't. I didn't know any better. Once I
learned, I did better. That's what we care most about. Are you willing
to learn better and do better? It sounds like you are, so that's fine
with me, and I'm sure I'm not the only one.

Husbands are hard. Often they are harder than kids because they don't
listen as well! But your husband does have to either step up to the
plate or let this dog go to a different home. As you have seen, the long
hours of kenneling are just creating a messy crate problem. The
behavioral problems will get worse, not better. While the puppy is still
really young, he has a better chance of finding a new home. If you wait
until he is older to decide you just can't put up with all the trouble of
a puppy with your current lifestyles (and no judgment there, I have
decided I never want a puppy in my house again because it's just too
hard), the dog will pay the price. As will your marriage as you clean up
the messes of a dog that your husband wanted and get more and more
resentful. Having a young child just makes it harder because you have
two little creatures that are too dependent on you and not very well
trained to stay out of trouble if left on their own.

Maybe you could get an adult dog. In fact, given your husband's
intentions and expectations, perhaps he could be talked into an older dog
that already has some training. Check places like petfinder.com for dogs
that are adults, so they can hold it longer and aren't going to go
through teething stages. If they are already housebroken and have some
house manners, which many of them are because many of them are being
fostered in homes, you can have the dog in with the house dogs right off
the bat. You can let the dog out to play with the lab and in the
meantime work on making the lab more able to come in more often, but at
least then you only have one dog to work on. Make your husband clean out
the messy kennel that "his" dog is creating and perhaps he'll think it
over even sooner. As long as he doesn't have to pay the price of his
decision, he's not likely to change his mind. Would you? But the longer
this goes, the worse it will be for all involved.

Paula