on Mon, 02 Apr 2007 18:04:12 GMT, ceb wrote:

I have a really low tolerance for living next door to people who hate
me, and would definitely take the conservative approach that Perry has
chosen

So asking a neighbor to be considerate will make them hate you? *boggle*

Do you live in the South, Lynne? Because often a
too-forthright approach can backfire here.

Nope, I'm not in the South. I'm in Louisville, KY, which seems to defy
classfication. It's not the South, it's not the Midwest. The
neighborhood where I live is full of transplants from all over the
country, so it may not be an accurate reflection of this area in general.

I lived a great many years in Virginia, though, not far from where you
are located (my son was born at UVA). Being direct there never caused me
any problems. Perhaps it's all in the presentation?

Being at war with the neighbors is to be avoided if at all possible,
in my book.

We're not at war. I'm also not buddy-buddy with this neighbor, but I
never had the desire to be. I have *zero* respect for people who are
careless with their animals (among other things)--especially when they
are smart enough to know better. OTOH, I have great relationships with
my other neighbors, FWTW.

Honestly, the bottom line for me is that I would want to know if I was
doing something to aggravate my neighbor, even a neighbor I didn't
particularly like. I would HATE to be doing something that pissed them
off. I would want them to tell me directly, instead of dropping subtle
hints that I might not catch. People tend to get more frustrated as
problems continue, and that's when tempers can flare. I'd rather avoid
getting to the point, on either side of the problem. Were I in my
neighbor's shoes and I found out that my dog was a nuisance, I'd be
embarrassed and apologetic--which is exactly the reaction I got from him.

I'm not sure why people find it so hard to be direct. If you do it in a
polite, respectful manner, it gets results.

--
Lynne