It's been a while, unfortunately the news isn't good.

Bear had made some progress over the past few months. The medications
definitely seem to have helped him calm down and he was making a lot
more eye contact. He was ok with going outside by himself but he still
had serious issues on coming in by himself. He would circle endlessly
in front of the steps, even when his paws got cold. We would end up
going out and getting him. I'm sure we reinforced the pattern but as
cold as it gets here in Minnesota we couldn't wait for him.

The main issue turned out to be what I thought it might be, my 11 year
old stepson.

He is 11 years old and has ADHD and wanted to interact with Bear, a
lot. As kids do he would sometimes pet him nicely, other times he
would tug his ears or "beep" him on the nose. Nothing too serious but
it was obviously keeping Bear in a fairly high state of anxiety all
the time. We just weren't seeing the anxiety go down. There was an
incident last week where my wife was trying to clean something off
Bear's tail before he got it all over the furniture so she stopped him
and was getting ready clean it off. Bear tried to squirm out and she
pushed down a little to stop him and he turned around with his mouth
open and caught her on the arm and did some damage. No aggression but
a simple fear reaction. That's what made me realize that the fear
wasn't going down much in the past 5 months. It was the same reaction
as in August when it happened to me. There was also an incident with
my stepson when my wife came up from downstairs and found Bear
snarling at the kid. Turns out he had pressed on Bear's front paws.
Ever since he had the damage to his paws he has been sensitive about
them. I have to move slowly and talk to him when I have to check them.
I don't blame the dog, but it worried my wife a bit.

If it were just me or me and my wife I think it would have been
workable but Bear needs a quiet environment and a family with an ADHD
11 year old is anything but quiet.

He's a wonderful dog and when we would watch him outside by himself,
playing in the snow and flipping it in the air with his nose, we could
see the potential and the real dog inside. I think it will come out
but he needs a stable and calm environment for that to happen. There
were too many things that kept him on edge here.

The prior foster person came by yesterday morning and took him back. I
gave her everything we had for him and I'm going to refill the
prescriptions and probably cover the next follow up visit from the
behaviorist if the new owners want to do that. I told her I would be
happy to talk to anyone about him and that she could give out my info.
The foster said that she noticed a lot of improvement from his time
here so I can console myself with that, at least we didn't make it
worse.... :-). She said she would keep me updated on how he does.
I'm looking forward to that.

I'll admit, I was pretty choked up and shed more than a few tears
while she was here. It was a very hard decision but the important
thing was what would be best for Bear. He deserves an environment
where he can open up and be himself.

After a break we will get another rescue but we will have to make some
adjustments based on having the child here.

I wanted to give everyone an update and again thank everyone for their
advice and support. I feel really rotten right now but I know I made
the right decision for Bear.

-Jim

On Dec 30, 3:22*pm, Jim Manson wrote:
It's been a while, unfortunately the news isn't good.

I wanted to give everyone an update and again thank everyone for their
advice and support. I feel really rotten right now but I know I made
the right decision for Bear.

-Jim

oh Jim,

I'm so so sorry to hear this. what a horribly hard decision you had
to make.

"Jim Manson" wrote in message
...

After a break we will get another rescue but we will have to make some
adjustments based on having the child here.

When the time comes, please do. There are an awful lot of rescue dogs
out there that are pretty much baggage free, or will be with a minimal
amount of work. Finding one that will fit your family is absolutely
do-able.

I wanted to give everyone an update and again thank everyone for their
advice and support. I feel really rotten right now but I know I made
the right decision for Bear.

I know it has to be hard to put him in someone else's hands, but you did
good. Very good.

--
Shelly
http://www.cat-sidh.net (the Mother Ship)
http://esther.cat-sidh.net (Letters to Esther)

Shelly wrote:

"Jim Manson" wrote in message
...



I know it has to be hard to put him in someone else's hands, but you did
good. Very good.


Ditto. You know, we deal with a lot of whackjobs on these groups and it
gets sort of annoying sometimes. But then someone like you comes to
visit; thoughtful, open, caring, committed. Every step along the way you
have been making the best decisions you could about Bear, and this last
one was also the best for him, and for your family. Hopefully Bear will
get adopted by a single quiet person or a quiet couple and he'll get the
rest of what he needs. You gave him a really good start.

"Jim Manson" wrote in message
...
It's been a while, unfortunately the news isn't good.

[snip]

I'll admit, I was pretty choked up and shed more than a few tears
while she was here. It was a very hard decision but the important
thing was what would be best for Bear. He deserves an environment
where he can open up and be himself.

After a break we will get another rescue but we will have to make some
adjustments based on having the child here.

I wanted to give everyone an update and again thank everyone for their
advice and support. I feel really rotten right now but I know I made
the right decision for Bear.

I am sorry to hear that you had to make this difficult decision, but I
think you made a lot of progress and Bear should be able to fit into the
proper environment. I don't know how Muttley would have reacted in similar
situations, but the first couple who were ready to adopt him early on
probably would not have been a good match, as they had young children and
he may have hurt them, perhaps just by being clumsy. And I had to make
another difficult decision with my other rescue dog Lucky, when it appeared
that she and Muttley were not getting along reliably. But I was able to get
her adopted quickly, and I like to think that she was more adoptable
because of the love and care I gave her during the couple of months I had
with her. We can only do so much, but you helped lay the foundation for an
eventual good forever home for Bear. Good job!

Paul and Muttley

"Jim Manson" wrote in message
...
It's been a while, unfortunately the news isn't good.

Bear had made some progress over the past few months. The medications
definitely seem to have helped him calm down and he was making a lot
more eye contact. He was ok with going outside by himself but he still
had serious issues on coming in by himself. He would circle endlessly
in front of the steps, even when his paws got cold. We would end up
going out and getting him. I'm sure we reinforced the pattern but as
cold as it gets here in Minnesota we couldn't wait for him.

The main issue turned out to be what I thought it might be, my 11 year
old stepson.

He is 11 years old and has ADHD and wanted to interact with Bear, a
lot. As kids do he would sometimes pet him nicely, other times he
would tug his ears or "beep" him on the nose.

Don't beat yourself up over this - this is a decision that the dog made,
not you. I'm firmly convinced that dogs understand when they are
dealing with children - puppies do equally annoying things to older
dogs as children do - and while most dogs will make allowances,
there's a few who just won't.

I've seen my kids do just as annoying things to Ruby but while she will
snap at them if they pull her tail too much or touch her underside towards
her private parts, but, she always stops short of actually biting.

Ted

On Mon, 5 Jan 2009 02:43:34 -0800, "Ted Mittelstaedt"
wrote:



I've seen my kids do just as annoying things to Ruby but while she will
snap at them if they pull her tail too much or touch her underside towards
her private parts, but, she always stops short of actually biting.

Ted


why in the world are you waiting for her to bite? because one day she
will have enough and will bite.

why do you let your kids pull her tail or touch her privates?

newfondly yours,

Nessa
----
Dog Mom to:
Hannah age 6.5 Pitador rescued age 9 weeks
Harley small shaggy cow that pretends he's a newfoundland rescued age 10 months
(Angel) Bagel went to Rainbow Bridge 9/18/08 my Newfandstuff age 8.5

In article ,
Nessa wrote:



why in the world are you waiting for her to bite? because one day she
will have enough and will bite.

why do you let your kids pull her tail or touch her privates?

I know - he wants the kids to learn! HTH!

--
Janet Boss
www.bestfriendsdogobedience.com

In article ,
Janet Boss wrote:
I know - he wants the kids to learn! HTH!

Sort-of related (dog ownership/responsibility/training), but
I had an absolutely remarkable experience yesterday. A
bunch of 'em, but the one that surprised me the most was
this: I took the sled and some dogs up to Connecticut Hill
yesterday for our first run on snow of the season (I shipped
my houseguest off on Saturday), and because it was a
beautiful day and because I didn't get up there until 10:30
or so the place was pretty busy, mostly with x-c skiers. An
awful lot of these skiers had dogs with them, and all of the
dogs were off-leash. And here's the thing: as far as I
could tell every single dog was obedient, came when called,
stuck close to the owner, and just generally behaved
extremely well. I couldn't tell you the last time (if
ever!) I've been around that many pet dogs who were that
well-behaved. It was a great experience.
--
Melinda Shore - Software longa, hardware brevis -

Prouder than ever to be a member of the reality-based community

In article ,
(Melinda Shore) wrote:

And here's the thing: as far as I
could tell every single dog was obedient, came when called,
stuck close to the owner, and just generally behaved
extremely well. I couldn't tell you the last time (if
ever!) I've been around that many pet dogs who were that
well-behaved. It was a great experience.

Isn't that a lovely surprise! I imagine that for some locations, people
without good off leash control/manners on their dogs, just wouldn't
attempt to take them there. Still, good all the way around!

--
Janet Boss
www.bestfriendsdogobedience.com