_Where the Red Fern Grows_ is fiction. Required reading in 8th grade in
GA..... I"d never heard of it until I moved here....

It's the intensity of the relationship of the Dog to the person or the
Dog to another Dog, plus individual personality of the Dog. Using a
capital letter as emphasis. A person could and often does have an
intense bond to the dog that exceeds that of the Dog to the person. The
relationship must be very intense before most dogs will obviously be
mourning a lost person or other dog enough to drag it down to the point
of death.

But dogs do mourn. The loss of family (stray, sale, whatever), the loss
of a key person, the loss of an animal companion. In rescue, this
mourning can be part of the picture seen by fosters and shelter workers
that can be deceptive when evaluating personality and normal behavior
prior to placement..... added to the stress of adjustment to the new
environment. Because Border Terriers are usually long-lived, we get 2-3
elderly healthy dogs into rescue each year. One will usually be
reunited with it's breeder, but the others are normally placed. These
dogs are often clearly depressed for the first 1-2 weeks, but after that
the signs may be very discrete.... and unnoticed.

I remember one bitch that came back to her breeder after the sudden
death of her owner..... 11 yo, actively shown in 3 sports, plus therapy
dog work (to the point that she was the mascot of a senior high
cheerleader squad as a result of her work with a group therapy program
in the school). It seemed to me that Fiona had integrated well into the
new household pack after 5-6 months (not an unusually long period), but
the breeder assured me that this was not so (she had spent more time
with Fiona as an adult than I had, prior to Emmy's death). However,
Fiona had been back with Barb for nearly 3 years when Barb commented
that, "Fiona has finally decided that Emmy isn't coming back."

But not all of these dogs mourn for extended periods. I had a lovely 13
yo male here a few years ago after the incapacitation of his owner. The
breeder had become handicapped after a series of strokes and could not
take him or place him herself. The family had had him boarded for
several weeks at a kennel where he was well known, hoping the owner
would be able to return home, then he spent 2 weeks with one of our
breeders who is a trainer and a vet. She reported that "He certainly is
through at least the worst of any mourning he did for Mrs Thomas." I
quickly found out that the old guy was doing some sort of "free at last"
celebration, having been with Laura's dogs, then mine, and free to rip
and romp with them. I had him for 3 months, then found him a great home
with an even older Border T. He spent his first months there teaching
the new owner all of his interactive games, and inventing a few more. A
new puppy was brought into the family that fall, and the comical old guy
was obviously thrilled to have this baby dog to "raise".

A nearly-15-yo male was recently fostered in one of our "old folks
homes", arriving a short time after the death of his owner, and staying
for about a month, including the holidays. He was polite and
affectionate, but did not offer to play until the week before he moved
to his new permanent home. Two weeks after reaching that new home, we
got photos of him actively romping with their younger Border T.... and
just this week got photos of his 15th birthday party, dog sitting on a
table, face smeared with the remains of his birthday cupcake, and a
party hat tipped crazily over one ear. He not only had his owner to
mourn but his loss of three other dogs (larger mixes and a Papillon).

I think that the length and depth of mourning varies as much in dogs as
it does in humans. I certainly have known humans who literally never
recovered from the loss of a certain other human or a pet to reach the
point of normal personal and social function. And I certainly have seen
my own dogs mourn the loss of a pack member.... but it has never been
severe enough to evidence itself in more than a day or two "off [his]
feed" and visibly depressed.... and rarely "looking for" the departed
dog and acting a bit anxious for longer than a few weeks, although I had
seen one of my dogs still anxiously now and then checking the garage in
the places "his" cat hid when they were playing.... some months after
the cat died, and this behavior vanished when I got him a new kitten
from a co-worker.

Mourning-to-death is rare in both dogs and humans. It's heartbreaking
to watch in both species. There are few Greyfriars Bobbies today.


Jo Wolf
Martinez, Georgia

[...] I had
seen one of my dogs still anxiously now and then checking the garage in
the places "his" cat hid *when they were playing.... some months after
the cat died, and this behavior vanished when I got him a new kitten
from a co-worker.

So sometimes the best way to recover from the loss of a pet, is to
occupy your mind with another pet...even for pets?

My lab is doing her best to occupy my time and attention, but every so
often I still miss the stately gravitas of my old dog.

--Glenn Lyford

Glenn, a new pet was good for my Dane. I can't predict how another dog
would react to that approach, and I had NO idea how Max would react
until I brought the kitten home.

How a person would react is highly individual. I do object to other
people intervening in the loss of a pet by hurriedly supplying a new pet
that the grieving owner didn't ask for and didn't select. To me, pet
ownership and selection is akin to to the selection of a mate and the
formalization of that relationship with marriage or some other rite of
passage.

About the dogs.... A dog that has enjoyed being with other dogs is more
likely to welcome a new dog in the home than one that has not formed
very interactive dog-dog relationships. Lots of dogs live sort of
parallel lives in the same home.... with minimal interaction, but no
show of dislike. So it's often a matter of guesswork.

I have missed the old guys when they've died.... and still do miss them.
But I'd be "lost" without a dog.... so I tend to bring in another dog
when I get down to one or two, and have often been looking for the next
dog when an oldster begins the final downhill run. Also, as an
obedience instructor, I Need a dog to use for demonstrating in class, so
need an up-and-coming younger dog to be ready to step in when my older
dog reaches retirement "age". That's different than for someone who just
enjoys living with a dog or two.

The summer I turned 50, I fractured an achilles tendon while
participating in giving the AKC's Canine Good Citizen test (Mom has
always called me "Grace"; I'm not well coordinated). This meant most of
three months on crutches, no weight bearing on the injured leg. In a
three level house with a least some steps at every entrance, I chose to
board my two dogs at a good kennel where I could visit frequently. It
was a horrible experience to be in that "dead" silent house! I brought
the boys home as soon as I was allowed to bear weight without crutches.
But at least I knew they were alive and well, having a blast with the
friends who owned the kennel, and I visited weekly. Not quite the same
as mourning.... yet no fun either!

If you particularly like the dignity and humor of an older dog, in
general terms, not necessarily the specific dog you've lost, and feel
that you're through the worst of mourning for that loss, you have a
world of choices available. A puppy. A young adult re-cycled dog (from
a breeder who has retired that dog from show or breeding, or a rescue).
A middle-aged dog (same sources). Or another older dog (same sources).
Or no new dog at all. If I knew you well, and saw you frequently, I
might ask now and then if you were ready for a new dog..... but I'd
never present you with one or pressure you to get one. If you asked
about a specific type or breed of dog you were interested in getting,
I'd do my best to refer you to a trusted source or two if I knew of any
and leave it up to you.

As the recognized "first contact" rescue person in my breed, I'm often
aware of owners who have lost a dog. I NEVER barge in to tell them of
an available rescue dog they couldn't be expected to know of from
listserve groups or our web site until/unless they ask. Many of our
dogs do go to these homes, and many adult dogs and puppies go to these
homes from the breeders..... but only when the folks are ready, and
initiate the contact.

Jo Wolf
Martinez, Georgia

"Jo Wolf" wrote in message
...
Mourning-to-death is rare in both dogs and humans. It's heartbreaking
to watch in both species. There are few Greyfriars Bobbies today...

Fortunately, it's rare.
I wonder if dogs or animals understand what death is?
My dad used to walk our dog Judy every day and one day we found him dead
on the floor. I think she thought he was sleeping and she jumped om him
and licked his face. She missed him and every time we would see an old man
with a cap and walking stick she used to get excited and then realise it
wasn't him. She did this until she died about 9 years later so didn't
forget him.
Al

My first terrier fell in love with an Irish Wolfhound bitch and would
always alert when he saw a grey IW..... but they were not "bonded" from
long contact.....

My sister had a big red tom cat my dad named Mortimer. When it came to
humans, Morty always prefered Dad. He was about 7 or 8 when Dad died
suddenly while on vacation, so Morty never saw him dead. But all of us
agreed that Morty was never the same when Dad didn't come home....
looking for Dad, trying to claim his favorite chair, other personality
changes. He died within the next year.... healthy.... They just found
him on top of the afghan on the sofa that he begrudged any human to use.

Jo Wolf
Martinez, Georgia

I do object to other people intervening in the loss of a pet by
hurriedly supplying a new pet that the grieving owner didn't ask
for and didn't select.

I quite agree, and I think you've expressed it very well.

If you particularly like the dignity and humor of an older dog, in
general terms, not necessarily the specific dog you've lost, and feel
that you're through the worst of mourning for that loss, you have a
world of choices available.

Oh I'm well aware of that, and we do have an older dog in the
house...but he's still a herding dog with strong opinons on how the
world should run, so "stately gravitas" is not something I would use
to describe him...fussbudget or curmudgeon maybe. The old girl was an
Akita, and had a certain quiet reserve and dignity that I miss
(besides being darn cute and more than a little neurotic). I will
have more big dogs (Newf? Berner? Samoyed?), more old dogs, and quite
possibly more Akitas in my life...but for right now, it's All About
The Lab (she insists--and that's OK).

I was just amused that your dog loved having a new pet. Thank you for
sharing that.
--Glenn Lyford

AH! Yes, I think I know what you mean about the Akita. I've been
through the loss of two elderly ones, a male and a female, with a
friend....

Jo Wolf
Martinez, Georgia