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Terrified of others



 
 
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  #1  
Old July 4th 04, 12:49 AM
Susan
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Posts: n/a
Default Terrified of others

Hi,
My husband and I adpoted a two year old rat terrier, named Daisy about
a year ago. She is great. Daisy is very smart and extremely loving.

The only problem is that she is terrified of most people. From the
very first day we picked her up she has been nothing but a love bug to
me and my husband and some family members. She has never been afraid
of us, even in the beginning, but she cowers or growls at pretty much
all company that comes over. If any one even tries to touch her she
screams (sounds like a little girl screaming).

I'm sure she was abused, but I have no proof. I thought after a while
she would relax around other people or at least people she sees often,
but nothing has changed.

Does anyone have any advice, that might show her that no one is going
to hurt her?

Thank you for your help in advance.

Susan
www.prettyskin.citymaker.com
  #2  
Old July 4th 04, 01:27 AM
Judy
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

"Susan" wrote in message
om...
The only problem is that she is terrified of most people. From the
very first day we picked her up she has been nothing but a love bug to
me and my husband and some family members. She has never been afraid
of us, even in the beginning, but she cowers or growls at pretty much
all company that comes over. If any one even tries to touch her she
screams (sounds like a little girl screaming).


First thing is, don't let other people touch her. Don't let them force
themselves on her.

If she is really nervous, a good approach is to have someone come over and
pretty much ignore her. They should not make eye contact with her. Some
dogs find this particularly scary. No loud voices. Just have someone come
and sit talk with you. No attempt to pet the dog. If she cowers or growls,
ignore her. Do not pick her up to comfort her or to reassure her - this
just confirms to her that there really WAS something to be scared of.

Our female can be a little shy. She is especially shy around people with
loud voices who try to make friends with her immediately. (And our male
insists on making friends with people whether they care or not.) She
doesn't object if they try to pet her but it makes her very uncomfortable.
Given time to assess the situation and make her own decision about the
person, she will usually approach them slowly and cautiously. But not the
ones with loud voices or the ones who have been too aggressive from the
start. Once she decides about a person, she remembers them the next time.
Either way. She has one man - who would desperately like to make friends
with her - that she really does not like. He's heartbroken but, in his
case, I think it's his loud voice.

I'm sure she was abused, but I have no proof. I thought after a while
she would relax around other people or at least people she sees often,
but nothing has changed.

Does anyone have any advice, that might show her that no one is going
to hurt her?


I don't know about the abuse. She just may be shy. And the people that she
doesn't like may all have something in common that you don't recognize but
she does - that might be associated with abuse. You said she took to you
and your husband and some family members right from the start. She isn't
universally scared of people and she WANTS to be friendly - maybe just on
her own terms.

Probably the only thing that will really help her is time and experience.
Don't force her into situations but keep exposing her to more and more
people - but try to control the obvious things that would/could set her off.
But she may always have certain triggers that you'll never totally
understand.
--
~~Judy
Spenser - Carbor Talk of the Town, NA
Sassy - Can CH Carbor Back Talk



  #3  
Old July 4th 04, 01:27 AM
Judy
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

"Susan" wrote in message
om...
The only problem is that she is terrified of most people. From the
very first day we picked her up she has been nothing but a love bug to
me and my husband and some family members. She has never been afraid
of us, even in the beginning, but she cowers or growls at pretty much
all company that comes over. If any one even tries to touch her she
screams (sounds like a little girl screaming).


First thing is, don't let other people touch her. Don't let them force
themselves on her.

If she is really nervous, a good approach is to have someone come over and
pretty much ignore her. They should not make eye contact with her. Some
dogs find this particularly scary. No loud voices. Just have someone come
and sit talk with you. No attempt to pet the dog. If she cowers or growls,
ignore her. Do not pick her up to comfort her or to reassure her - this
just confirms to her that there really WAS something to be scared of.

Our female can be a little shy. She is especially shy around people with
loud voices who try to make friends with her immediately. (And our male
insists on making friends with people whether they care or not.) She
doesn't object if they try to pet her but it makes her very uncomfortable.
Given time to assess the situation and make her own decision about the
person, she will usually approach them slowly and cautiously. But not the
ones with loud voices or the ones who have been too aggressive from the
start. Once she decides about a person, she remembers them the next time.
Either way. She has one man - who would desperately like to make friends
with her - that she really does not like. He's heartbroken but, in his
case, I think it's his loud voice.

I'm sure she was abused, but I have no proof. I thought after a while
she would relax around other people or at least people she sees often,
but nothing has changed.

Does anyone have any advice, that might show her that no one is going
to hurt her?


I don't know about the abuse. She just may be shy. And the people that she
doesn't like may all have something in common that you don't recognize but
she does - that might be associated with abuse. You said she took to you
and your husband and some family members right from the start. She isn't
universally scared of people and she WANTS to be friendly - maybe just on
her own terms.

Probably the only thing that will really help her is time and experience.
Don't force her into situations but keep exposing her to more and more
people - but try to control the obvious things that would/could set her off.
But she may always have certain triggers that you'll never totally
understand.
--
~~Judy
Spenser - Carbor Talk of the Town, NA
Sassy - Can CH Carbor Back Talk



  #4  
Old July 4th 04, 01:27 AM
Judy
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

"Susan" wrote in message
om...
The only problem is that she is terrified of most people. From the
very first day we picked her up she has been nothing but a love bug to
me and my husband and some family members. She has never been afraid
of us, even in the beginning, but she cowers or growls at pretty much
all company that comes over. If any one even tries to touch her she
screams (sounds like a little girl screaming).


First thing is, don't let other people touch her. Don't let them force
themselves on her.

If she is really nervous, a good approach is to have someone come over and
pretty much ignore her. They should not make eye contact with her. Some
dogs find this particularly scary. No loud voices. Just have someone come
and sit talk with you. No attempt to pet the dog. If she cowers or growls,
ignore her. Do not pick her up to comfort her or to reassure her - this
just confirms to her that there really WAS something to be scared of.

Our female can be a little shy. She is especially shy around people with
loud voices who try to make friends with her immediately. (And our male
insists on making friends with people whether they care or not.) She
doesn't object if they try to pet her but it makes her very uncomfortable.
Given time to assess the situation and make her own decision about the
person, she will usually approach them slowly and cautiously. But not the
ones with loud voices or the ones who have been too aggressive from the
start. Once she decides about a person, she remembers them the next time.
Either way. She has one man - who would desperately like to make friends
with her - that she really does not like. He's heartbroken but, in his
case, I think it's his loud voice.

I'm sure she was abused, but I have no proof. I thought after a while
she would relax around other people or at least people she sees often,
but nothing has changed.

Does anyone have any advice, that might show her that no one is going
to hurt her?


I don't know about the abuse. She just may be shy. And the people that she
doesn't like may all have something in common that you don't recognize but
she does - that might be associated with abuse. You said she took to you
and your husband and some family members right from the start. She isn't
universally scared of people and she WANTS to be friendly - maybe just on
her own terms.

Probably the only thing that will really help her is time and experience.
Don't force her into situations but keep exposing her to more and more
people - but try to control the obvious things that would/could set her off.
But she may always have certain triggers that you'll never totally
understand.
--
~~Judy
Spenser - Carbor Talk of the Town, NA
Sassy - Can CH Carbor Back Talk



  #5  
Old July 4th 04, 01:27 AM
Judy
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

"Susan" wrote in message
om...
The only problem is that she is terrified of most people. From the
very first day we picked her up she has been nothing but a love bug to
me and my husband and some family members. She has never been afraid
of us, even in the beginning, but she cowers or growls at pretty much
all company that comes over. If any one even tries to touch her she
screams (sounds like a little girl screaming).


First thing is, don't let other people touch her. Don't let them force
themselves on her.

If she is really nervous, a good approach is to have someone come over and
pretty much ignore her. They should not make eye contact with her. Some
dogs find this particularly scary. No loud voices. Just have someone come
and sit talk with you. No attempt to pet the dog. If she cowers or growls,
ignore her. Do not pick her up to comfort her or to reassure her - this
just confirms to her that there really WAS something to be scared of.

Our female can be a little shy. She is especially shy around people with
loud voices who try to make friends with her immediately. (And our male
insists on making friends with people whether they care or not.) She
doesn't object if they try to pet her but it makes her very uncomfortable.
Given time to assess the situation and make her own decision about the
person, she will usually approach them slowly and cautiously. But not the
ones with loud voices or the ones who have been too aggressive from the
start. Once she decides about a person, she remembers them the next time.
Either way. She has one man - who would desperately like to make friends
with her - that she really does not like. He's heartbroken but, in his
case, I think it's his loud voice.

I'm sure she was abused, but I have no proof. I thought after a while
she would relax around other people or at least people she sees often,
but nothing has changed.

Does anyone have any advice, that might show her that no one is going
to hurt her?


I don't know about the abuse. She just may be shy. And the people that she
doesn't like may all have something in common that you don't recognize but
she does - that might be associated with abuse. You said she took to you
and your husband and some family members right from the start. She isn't
universally scared of people and she WANTS to be friendly - maybe just on
her own terms.

Probably the only thing that will really help her is time and experience.
Don't force her into situations but keep exposing her to more and more
people - but try to control the obvious things that would/could set her off.
But she may always have certain triggers that you'll never totally
understand.
--
~~Judy
Spenser - Carbor Talk of the Town, NA
Sassy - Can CH Carbor Back Talk



  #6  
Old July 4th 04, 01:27 AM
Judy
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

"Susan" wrote in message
om...
The only problem is that she is terrified of most people. From the
very first day we picked her up she has been nothing but a love bug to
me and my husband and some family members. She has never been afraid
of us, even in the beginning, but she cowers or growls at pretty much
all company that comes over. If any one even tries to touch her she
screams (sounds like a little girl screaming).


First thing is, don't let other people touch her. Don't let them force
themselves on her.

If she is really nervous, a good approach is to have someone come over and
pretty much ignore her. They should not make eye contact with her. Some
dogs find this particularly scary. No loud voices. Just have someone come
and sit talk with you. No attempt to pet the dog. If she cowers or growls,
ignore her. Do not pick her up to comfort her or to reassure her - this
just confirms to her that there really WAS something to be scared of.

Our female can be a little shy. She is especially shy around people with
loud voices who try to make friends with her immediately. (And our male
insists on making friends with people whether they care or not.) She
doesn't object if they try to pet her but it makes her very uncomfortable.
Given time to assess the situation and make her own decision about the
person, she will usually approach them slowly and cautiously. But not the
ones with loud voices or the ones who have been too aggressive from the
start. Once she decides about a person, she remembers them the next time.
Either way. She has one man - who would desperately like to make friends
with her - that she really does not like. He's heartbroken but, in his
case, I think it's his loud voice.

I'm sure she was abused, but I have no proof. I thought after a while
she would relax around other people or at least people she sees often,
but nothing has changed.

Does anyone have any advice, that might show her that no one is going
to hurt her?


I don't know about the abuse. She just may be shy. And the people that she
doesn't like may all have something in common that you don't recognize but
she does - that might be associated with abuse. You said she took to you
and your husband and some family members right from the start. She isn't
universally scared of people and she WANTS to be friendly - maybe just on
her own terms.

Probably the only thing that will really help her is time and experience.
Don't force her into situations but keep exposing her to more and more
people - but try to control the obvious things that would/could set her off.
But she may always have certain triggers that you'll never totally
understand.
--
~~Judy
Spenser - Carbor Talk of the Town, NA
Sassy - Can CH Carbor Back Talk



  #7  
Old July 4th 04, 06:59 AM
Jo Wolf
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

It's likely that your little gal was not abused, but that she was not
socialized much to people outside her household. This is very common...

I agree with the suggestions already given. Just be patient. Perhaps
that visitor could have a very good treat in one hand that just sort of
hangs down in easy nose range. By very good treat, I mean something of
high dog-value; cooked liver, left over meat, cheese, hot dog or
sausage. chicken..... When the dog sneaks in and takes the goodie very
quietly verbally praise her... the instant she takes it, not while she
is walking away.

Jo Wolf
Martinez, Georgia

  #8  
Old July 4th 04, 06:59 AM
Jo Wolf
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

It's likely that your little gal was not abused, but that she was not
socialized much to people outside her household. This is very common...

I agree with the suggestions already given. Just be patient. Perhaps
that visitor could have a very good treat in one hand that just sort of
hangs down in easy nose range. By very good treat, I mean something of
high dog-value; cooked liver, left over meat, cheese, hot dog or
sausage. chicken..... When the dog sneaks in and takes the goodie very
quietly verbally praise her... the instant she takes it, not while she
is walking away.

Jo Wolf
Martinez, Georgia

  #9  
Old July 4th 04, 06:59 AM
Jo Wolf
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

It's likely that your little gal was not abused, but that she was not
socialized much to people outside her household. This is very common...

I agree with the suggestions already given. Just be patient. Perhaps
that visitor could have a very good treat in one hand that just sort of
hangs down in easy nose range. By very good treat, I mean something of
high dog-value; cooked liver, left over meat, cheese, hot dog or
sausage. chicken..... When the dog sneaks in and takes the goodie very
quietly verbally praise her... the instant she takes it, not while she
is walking away.

Jo Wolf
Martinez, Georgia

  #10  
Old July 4th 04, 06:59 AM
Jo Wolf
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

It's likely that your little gal was not abused, but that she was not
socialized much to people outside her household. This is very common...

I agree with the suggestions already given. Just be patient. Perhaps
that visitor could have a very good treat in one hand that just sort of
hangs down in easy nose range. By very good treat, I mean something of
high dog-value; cooked liver, left over meat, cheese, hot dog or
sausage. chicken..... When the dog sneaks in and takes the goodie very
quietly verbally praise her... the instant she takes it, not while she
is walking away.

Jo Wolf
Martinez, Georgia

 




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