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OT- femininity- Puppies
Beth In Alaska wrote:
"Julia Altshuler" wrote in message For that matter, I see usenet mostly as a means of getting to know people, hearing stories, listening to musings, thinking out loud. I don't see it much as a dialectic in which one person states an argument which is countered by other arguments and in which everything anyone says is expected to be thought out and backed up by independent sources. Hell, I expect most of what people say is funny, including the attacks on me. This sounds like an excellent attitude to have towards usenet. I'm borrowing it for awhile! Hey! Give that back! But seriously, there's one more bit of advice I follow that helps when dealing with usenet. It is: Don't bite bait. That is, when someone is or seems to be trying to engage me in argument, I don't argue back. I start to feel baited whenever I recognize the temptation within myself to repeat. I try to be clear the first time I post. If someone takes something I've said out of context, I feel a desire to say "no, no, that's not what I meant; you got it wrong," and as soon as I feel that, I know it's time for me to say nothing. As soon as I feel misunderstood, I reread what I wrote the first time. Sometimes I can see that I was unclear, and if that's the case, I clarify. If I think I said all I wanted to say the first time, I bow out. Of course, I also don't answer posts whenever I have nothing else to say. That could be because I agree wholeheartedly but don't want to clog the group by writing "me too" posts. I like a few of them, but I don't care for too many. For instance, I usually like the photos people post of their dogs, but I don't generally mention that every single time. There's something else I remember: The same people who annoy the hell out of me also step up to be helpful. I've asked naive questions about computer backups, marketing CDs, open heart surgery, opera, statistics, weather websites, and a lot of other topics. In amidst the potshots, there's always helpful information that I'm grateful for. --Lia |
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