Kookie of the day

(Darla Vladschyk) writes:

Beable van Polasm wrote:


... I've already got the cutest dog on ark...

Well that's just silly.

IS IT?

http://www.yougotta.com/Darla/Images/MuggsBunny.jpg

Pffft! PROPS! Those aren't the dog's REAL ears!

PROOF that I have the cutest dog on ark:
http://www.beable.com/twart/index.html

However, congratulations on your new baby kittie. Let us know how
she does with the snakes and the bats, eh?

You mean how HE does. I got a tomcat, because they are bigger, meaner,
tougher, and more likely to give it to a rat. His name is "Che Catvara".
He hasn't noticed the bats yet, but when he does I think he'll go off.
As for snakes, well one day he might just be... GONE. Those snakes are
pretty big around here.

I did a dog biting test the other day, because they had more of those
"Pit Bulls Bite People" stories on TeeVee. Not that my dog is a
pitbull, because everybody knows that Staffordshire Bull Terriers are
very nice little dogs that never bite anybody! When the dog was
gobbling up yummy food, I stuck my finger in her mouth. She stopped
eating and spat my finger out without biting it, and then resumed
gobbling.

Then I tried a different test. I got her biting onto a rope tugger
toy. I can lift her off the ground by that rope, because she bites on
so hard. She weighs 16kg, so she's pretty heavy for a small dog. Many
dogs that look about that big are mostly fur, it seems. I got her
biting the rope, and then stuck my finger into her mouth behind the
loop of rope. She stopped biting the rope and spat my finger
out. Without biting me! I have JUST AS MANY FINGERS NOW as I had
before I ran these tests!

So I don't think that dogs bite you by mistake. And I don't think
that my dog wants to bite me. Now if you think you're going to
run these tests on your dog, and you get bitten, that's NOT MY
FAULT! DON'T STICK YOUR FINGERS IN YOUR DOG'S MOUTH WHEN IT'S
EATING OR BITING SOMETHING!

cheers,
Beable
--
No, YOU'RE A CRACKPOT, which is why you think I'm a crackpot...
because all crackpots like you think everybody else is a moron
not them. -- George Hammond
http://beable.com

Beable van Polasm (aka Bruce) was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea:
(Darla Vladschyk) writes:

Beable van Polasm wrote:


... I've already got the cutest dog on ark...

Well that's just silly.

IS IT?

http://www.yougotta.com/Darla/Images/MuggsBunny.jpg

Pffft! PROPS! Those aren't the dog's REAL ears!

PROOF that I have the cutest dog on ark:
http://www.beable.com/twart/index.html

Your inFidel makes me laugh. Funny dog, silly dog, stupid ugly dog.

However, congratulations on your new baby kittie. Let us know how
she does with the snakes and the bats, eh?

You mean how HE does. I got a tomcat, because they are bigger, meaner,
tougher, and more likely to give it to a rat. His name is "Che Catvara".
He hasn't noticed the bats yet, but when he does I think he'll go off.
As for snakes, well one day he might just be... GONE. Those snakes are
pretty big around here.

I did a dog biting test the other day, because they had more of those
"Pit Bulls Bite People" stories on TeeVee. Not that my dog is a
pitbull, because everybody knows that Staffordshire Bull Terriers are
very nice little dogs that never bite anybody! When the dog was
gobbling up yummy food, I stuck my finger in her mouth. She stopped
eating and spat my finger out without biting it, and then resumed
gobbling.

Was your finger still attached? Anyhoo, you probably just have bad
blood. At least, my excuse when the flies don't bother me, is that I
just stink too much.

Then I tried a different test. I got her biting onto a rope tugger
toy. I can lift her off the ground by that rope, because she bites on
so hard. She weighs 16kg, so she's pretty heavy for a small dog. Many
dogs that look about that big are mostly fur, it seems. I got her
biting the rope, and then stuck my finger into her mouth behind the
loop of rope. She stopped biting the rope and spat my finger
out. Without biting me! I have JUST AS MANY FINGERS NOW as I had
before I ran these tests!

Yes, but aren't your fingers the ones made of titanium? Unless your
dog is diamond-dog, I don't think she is going to get through your
fingers. And besides, she's a girl dog, so she is hence a weakling,
who couldn't bite through a flies head.

So I don't think that dogs bite you by mistake. And I don't think
that my dog wants to bite me. Now if you think you're going to
run these tests on your dog, and you get bitten, that's NOT MY
FAULT! DON'T STICK YOUR FINGERS IN YOUR DOG'S MOUTH WHEN IT'S
EATING OR BITING SOMETHING!

And DON'T GO BITING THE DOG WHO IS EATING. BECAUSE IT WILL LET OUT A
BIG MEOW SAYING THAT YOU HURT IT.

--
TimC -- http://astronomy.swin.edu.au/staff/tconnors/

I'm lost
I've gone to look for myself.
If I should return before I get back, please ask me to wait.
--Dan in AFDA

Beable van Polasm wrote:

PROOF that I have the cutest dog on ark:
http://www.beable.com/twart/index.html

Many thanks for including the dead rat and the flying bats on the same
page as your Staffie bitch. You're a smoooothie, you are!

Also: Why is your bitch called "Fidel?" And why do you have your
belt around her neck? And why is her tongue lolling out of her mouth
like that? Are you saying that you have a lesbianic spaz for a pet?

Whoo.

Also, you ignored completely the pic of my darling Muggins with her
own ears on!

And she's a Jack Russell Terrier, which means that although our dogs
are distant cousins, Muggins would chew Fidel's ass and spit it all
over Tasmania in a fight.

Kind regards,
-=D=-

Beable van Polasm writes:

You mean how HE does. I got a tomcat, because they are bigger, meaner,
tougher, and more likely to give it to a rat. His name is "Che Catvara".
He hasn't noticed the bats yet, but when he does I think he'll go off.
As for snakes, well one day he might just be... GONE. Those snakes are
pretty big around here.

A friend of mine just got adopted by a cat, and he (the friend) was
calling him (the cat) "C.S." at first, for "Coyote Snack".

But now he calls him "Staples" for the obvious reason.

Meanwhile we're down to one of our original eight chicks. And seven
of our original eight ducklings. We're learning all sorts of ways to
not keep predators away from them. All the grownup chickens are still
alive, as are the goats. And the wife and kid. And her grandpa. And
me.

--
- Doctroid Doctroid Holmes http://www.richholmes.net/doctroid/

"We're waist deep in the Big Muddy
And the big fool says to push on." -- Pete Seeger

Rich writes:

Meanwhile we're down to one of our original eight chicks. And seven
of our original eight ducklings. We're learning all sorts of ways to
not keep predators away from them. All the grownup chickens are still
alive, as are the goats. And the wife and kid. And her grandpa. And
me.

BOB HOPE



--
Joe Bay Impeach Ford Reagan Bush Clinton Bush
Cancer Biology Twelve Galaxies
Stanford University Guiltied to a Zegnatronic
Stanford, California Rocket Society

Beable van Polasm wrote:

That ain't my belt! That's her collar!
... Where did you get "lesbianic" from?

See above, cross-reference "dyke gear."

Also, you ignored completely the pic of my darling Muggins with her
own ears on!

No I didn't. I looked at that picture and thought "Hmmm, cute, but
not as cute as Tikko."

Well that's true.

...And we know that Fidel is cuter than Tikko,
therefore, Fidel is cuter than Muggins! Q.E.D.!! I.W.I.N.!!

One of your premises is FALSE.


Maybe you are unaware of why Staffies were bred up in the first place.
Hint: they were fighting dogs. A Staffy would chew up a Jack Russell
and spit it out, bury it, and come back a few weeks later to chew on
its bones.

http://www.k9web.com/dog-faqs/breeds/staffords.html
http://www2.dogomania.com/breed/breed438/
http://www.dixiestaff.com/breedhistory.htm
http://www.kaynineonline.com/breed_staffordshire.htm

- They were also used for rat killing. A sack full of rats would be
- turned out into the pit. The result would be an unbelievable
- sequence of speed and movement. One snap, a bite and it would be
- all over. A good dog could kill 15 rats a minute.

FIFTEEN RATS PER MINUTE! Now THAT'S some good rat killin'! How many
rats per minute is Muggins rated at?

Okay okay you WIN. I mean, if the contest is about which doggins is
a raving, slavering beast and utterly tenacious in the "bodily harm"
category. But as for cute? Nope, I think I still have you there.
Well my DOG, I mean. Not me.

... she is very nice to the kitten, even when
he is biting her on the face. She just plays with him gently. Of
course, when the kitten runs across the lawn, the dog chases him
down and knocks him over which the kitten doesn't like.

Awwww!

...When the
kitten gets bigger, he might beable to outrun the dog and this
won't happen any more.

Or, he might beable to unsheathe his claws and surgically excise
Fidel's nose. BAD kittie! NO lutefisk!

-=D=-

(Darla Vladschyk) writes:

Beable van Polasm wrote:

- They were also used for rat killing. A sack full of rats would be
- turned out into the pit. The result would be an unbelievable
- sequence of speed and movement. One snap, a bite and it would be
- all over. A good dog could kill 15 rats a minute.

FIFTEEN RATS PER MINUTE! Now THAT'S some good rat killin'! How many
rats per minute is Muggins rated at?

Hey, now, there's a useful animal for you -- after you simply go out
and round up fifteen rats and stuff them in a sack, it'll kill them
for you. Hot damn.

HOW MUCH EXTRA FOR THE FREAKING DOG THAT KNOWS HOW TO ROUND UP RATS
AND STUFF THEM IN A SACK?

...When the
kitten gets bigger, he might beable to outrun the dog and this
won't happen any more.

Or, he might beable to unsheathe his claws and surgically excise
Fidel's nose. BAD kittie! NO lutefisk!

My wife once had a cute widdle kitten and a big mean German shepherd,
and one day she heard this terrible commotion in the yard. She looked
out to see the kitten sitting there with one claw hooked into the
shepherd's nostril, leading him around and around in circles around
her.

Unless the shepherd was a her and/or the kitten was a he, but I don't
think that's allowed.

--
- Doctroid Doctroid Holmes http://www.richholmes.net/doctroid/

"We're waist deep in the Big Muddy
And the big fool says to push on." -- Pete Seeger

On 03 Jul 2003 09:38:03 +1000, Beable van Polasm
wrote:

(Darla Vladschyk) writes:

Beable van Polasm wrote:

PROOF that I have the cutest dog on ark:
http://www.beable.com/twart/index.html

Many thanks for including the dead rat and the flying bats on the
same page as your Staffie bitch.
^
,

It's an old joke, and certainly not mine, but I fixed Darla's post for
her anyway.

--
Kevin S. Wilson
Tech Writer at a University Somewhere in Idaho
"Who put these fingerprints on my imagination?"

Kevin S. Wilson wrote:

It's an old joke, and certainly not mine, but I fixed Darla's post for
her anyway.

Kevins, wassup witchoo? Your posting stats are not nearly up to what
passes for "normal" for you.

Thanks for this crumb, but let's see if we can give it the old
University-somewhere-in-Idaho try, shall we?

-=D=-

(N. Gergen) wrote:

A few times a week in the early morning hours I hear a thunk
as one of my cats lands on the floor (the female, bigger and
burlier than the male) after coming through the window I leave
open for them. Soon after, I hear the munching commence from
behind the woodstove.

A couple minutes later and it's all over. The next day, when
I'm properly conscious, I go and clean up the same things
every time: a few dainty bloodstains, the snout (removed
just below the eyes), and the carefully extracted colon,
not a tooth mark on it.

While out on our morning walk and dressed in her red collar and leash,
my fuzzy little black-and-white doggins chased a yellow butterfly.
She ran to and fro after it, and now and then stood up on her little
hind legs to bat gently at it with her sweet front paws. Eventually
it flew up and away into the blue sky, as Muggie sat and watched it
spiral away.

-=D=-
---
BeebleBait.