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#1
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Always insist on dignity for treatment for older dogs
I recently had a very distressing experience with the high-tech
critical care units at two different pet hospitals in Eden Prairie, MN, where I live. My 17 year-old beloved miniature poodle Churchill was admitted to prevent dehydration after a spell of g/i upset, but then they refused to let him go. Churchill kept trying to tell everyone when he was ready to go home -- but the staff refused to acknowledge that, and kept insisting he remain hospitalized. I was so frightened. I was put under the gun and told that if I took my dog home without their permission to release him I would have to take responsibility for his dying. I was threatened by doctors from the Emergency Clinic, from Banfield, his regular clinic, and from Metro, a specialized clinic, by a Dr. Goulloud who is supposed to be a genius, but was, instead nothing more than a cold-hearted butcher. In retrospect, the one thing I wish I had pushed for was simply that Churchill be treated with the same dignity as any older person. He wanted to go home. I wish I had just taken him home with me. So, communicate with your pets, as they want and need your help in being comfortable in their old age and last days. Please do NOT let anyone, no matter how expert they tell you they are, and no matter how much of the moon they promise you, come between you and your pet. You are the only voice your pet has. Pamela McElwain-Brown In memory of Churchill 11.21.87 - 12.28.04 "How often have I said to you that when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth?" A Study in Scarlet, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, 1887 "Behind the Headlights: Presidential Limo" airs on the SPEED cable channel. Here is a link to the schedule: http://www.speedtv.com/programs/323/ More at www.jfk100x.com. "The Pretty Pig's Saturday Night", a new essay on "the SBT" is at http://educationforum.ipbhost.com/in...showtopic=2372. Scroll down the main Ed Forum page to"Assassination of JFK", click on "JFK Online Seminars", and you will find my essay, plus many others. Also, for more detailed limocentric questions and a backup of www.jfk100x.com please join jfk100x at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/jfk100x/ (Yahoo Groups). For information about my life away from research, visit www.themagicflute.org |
#2
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in thread : Pamela
McElwain-Brown whittled the following words: I was put under the gun and told that if I took my dog home without their permission to release him I would have to take responsibility for his dying. When you refuse treatment and the end result is that your pet WILL die, it's a responsibility you shoulder. That's not a bad thing, if you choose to allow them to die with dignity. Recently I stayed with a freind while she died under hospice care. When we brought her home, the responsibility of her passing went from doctors to me. She knew that we were giving up heroic measures (at her own request) Our goal went from recovery to comfort. In fact, when the pain meds no longer worked, and her body lay rotting in bed, and flesh tore loose as we changed bandages, we prayed for this to go faster than it did. She even asked in disgust, "how LONG is this going to take?" At that point the mission became dying. But it becomes a huge responsibility. When I took my boy in to be euthanized (dog), I took the responsibility of his death. Some people can't. They just allow their pets to miserably pass away naturally. That's because they are unable to take the responsibility of their pets death. They just allow it to happen. When you ceased heroic measures, you WERE saying "I am allowing my pet to die" That is a decision indicating you were accepting the responsibility and outcome. When you realize that the outcome for your remainder of your pet's life is not something you wish your pet to endure, and you decide euthanasia is the kinder path, you are accepting the responsibility of your pet's death. It's hard. You truly take on the responsibility of that pet's pain and suffering, and take it away, and then in that decision, make that pain, your own. It's HUGE. And the vet's were warning you (Not threatening you) in case you didn't realize it, just what the implications were. They realized that if there was a chance to prolong his life, it was now. Changing your mind after he's gone because you had guilt feelings was not an option. If you did EVERYTHING, you would never look back and say "I wish I had done more" Guilt can play a huge part in the grieving process, and grieving can be difficult enough without the guilt factor entering in. They didn't want you doing "What if's" after the fact. So they wanted to make it clear that you understood this in the haze of emotional stress of your pet actively dying. When I put my pet down last summer, I stood there while they did a necropsy. As soon as they cut him open, it was evident how much he WAS suffering, and didn't ever let on. I didn't know, or we would have done it sooner. That necropsy was absolutely the most conscious appeasing thing I could have done. No questions of whether I gave up too soon. In fact, if there was guilt, I didn't do it soon enough. I never had to question if I did the right thing. I just got right down to the business of grieving. And I still am 6 months later. He was the best dog ever. I think the business of grieving is the issue that these doctors were actually trying to address. Because it's absolutely the most difficult part of the whole dying process. They recognized that. I'm sorry for your loss. |
#3
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On Tue, 11 Jan 2005 06:36:29 -0600, diddy
wrote: in thread : Pamela McElwain-Brown whittled the following words: I was put under the gun and told that if I took my dog home without their permission to release him I would have to take responsibility for his dying. When you refuse treatment and the end result is that your pet WILL die, it's a responsibility you shoulder. That's not a bad thing, if you choose to allow them to die with dignity. Recently I stayed with a freind while she died under hospice care. When we brought her home, the responsibility of her passing went from doctors to me. She knew that we were giving up heroic measures (at her own request) Our goal went from recovery to comfort. In fact, when the pain meds no longer worked, and her body lay rotting in bed, and flesh tore loose as we changed bandages, we prayed for this to go faster than it did. She even asked in disgust, "how LONG is this going to take?" At that point the mission became dying. But it becomes a huge responsibility. When I took my boy in to be euthanized (dog), I took the responsibility of his death. Some people can't. They just allow their pets to miserably pass away naturally. That's because they are unable to take the responsibility of their pets death. They just allow it to happen. When you ceased heroic measures, you WERE saying "I am allowing my pet to die" That is a decision indicating you were accepting the responsibility and outcome. When you realize that the outcome for your remainder of your pet's life is not something you wish your pet to endure, and you decide euthanasia is the kinder path, you are accepting the responsibility of your pet's death. It's hard. You truly take on the responsibility of that pet's pain and suffering, and take it away, and then in that decision, make that pain, your own. It's HUGE. And the vet's were warning you (Not threatening you) in case you didn't realize it, just what the implications were. They realized that if there was a chance to prolong his life, it was now. Changing your mind after he's gone because you had guilt feelings was not an option. If you did EVERYTHING, you would never look back and say "I wish I had done more" Guilt can play a huge part in the grieving process, and grieving can be difficult enough without the guilt factor entering in. They didn't want you doing "What if's" after the fact. So they wanted to make it clear that you understood this in the haze of emotional stress of your pet actively dying. When I put my pet down last summer, I stood there while they did a necropsy. As soon as they cut him open, it was evident how much he WAS suffering, and didn't ever let on. I didn't know, or we would have done it sooner. That necropsy was absolutely the most conscious appeasing thing I could have done. No questions of whether I gave up too soon. In fact, if there was guilt, I didn't do it soon enough. I never had to question if I did the right thing. I just got right down to the business of grieving. And I still am 6 months later. He was the best dog ever. I think the business of grieving is the issue that these doctors were actually trying to address. Because it's absolutely the most difficult part of the whole dying process. They recognized that. I'm sorry for your loss. Thank you. I do acknowledge that Churchill's situation was a difficult one. In his case, he had never been comfortably crated, and once he was feeling better from the g/i issue, this is one reason why he wanted to go home. Also, Churchill's treatment has included a holistic vet who used acquapuncture and chiropractic with him, plus a pet psychic and healer who had the best understanding of the destructive effects of stress on him. In Churchill's case, he had recovered from the dehydration when he was ready to leave. They kept on adding reasons why he 'couldn't', including apparently some false readings. It is at that point I wish I had just brought him home, to heal or to die with me and our other dog, Lamb Chop, who is now quite desolate and keeps looking for Churchill. I understand hospice care and appreciate its value, and instead of catheters, iv's and, at the end, oxygen, I just wish I had had enough force to say "Enough", and consulted Churchill. He and I have been such a good team for such a long time -- foregoing surgery at times in favor of more holistic alternatives. I wish I had listened to him even more carefully during his last days. I just hope others will benefit from my mistakes. Pamela McElwain-Brown "How often have I said to you that when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth?" A Study in Scarlet, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, 1887 "Behind the Headlights: Presidential Limo" airs on the SPEED cable channel. Here is a link to the schedule: http://www.speedtv.com/programs/323/ More at www.jfk100x.com. "The Pretty Pig's Saturday Night", a new essay on "the SBT" is at http://educationforum.ipbhost.com/in...showtopic=2372. Scroll down the main Ed Forum page to"Assassination of JFK", click on "JFK Online Seminars", and you will find my essay, plus many others. Also, for more detailed limocentric questions and a backup of www.jfk100x.com please join jfk100x at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/jfk100x/ (Yahoo Groups). For information about my life away from research, visit www.themagicflute.org |
#4
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On 2005-01-11 16:06:12 -0500, Pamela McElwain-Brown
said: I do acknowledge that Churchill's situation was a difficult one. I'm sorry for your loss. We have been through some difficult situations with our dogs and have found that there seem to be some difficulties with communication between ourselves and our vets. Some of our vets have felt that they should always err on the side of aggressive treatment and they waited for us to tell them this was not the path we wished to follow. It is much the same with human doctors. How different it has been when we have made our wishes plainly known. Of course, we've "fired" a couple of whole practices before we found a practice where we felt comfortable in the communication with a majority of the vets available. Your subject, "insist on dignity for treatment for older dogs" is very true, but not often easy, as you have found. It is a difficult situation that you have experienced and I'm so sorry that your loss of Churchill was made more distressing. |
#5
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On Wed, 12 Jan 2005 04:50:31 GMT, montana wildhack
wrote: On 2005-01-11 16:06:12 -0500, Pamela McElwain-Brown said: I do acknowledge that Churchill's situation was a difficult one. I'm sorry for your loss. We have been through some difficult situations with our dogs and have found that there seem to be some difficulties with communication between ourselves and our vets. Some of our vets have felt that they should always err on the side of aggressive treatment and they waited for us to tell them this was not the path we wished to follow. It is much the same with human doctors. How different it has been when we have made our wishes plainly known. Of course, we've "fired" a couple of whole practices before we found a practice where we felt comfortable in the communication with a majority of the vets available. Your subject, "insist on dignity for treatment for older dogs" is very true, but not often easy, as you have found. It is a difficult situation that you have experienced and I'm so sorry that your loss of Churchill was made more distressing. Thank you so much for your understanding and support. I am waiting to hear when Churchill's ashes will be ready for me to pick up, so I anticipate another bout of deep feelings. I hope that those reading this thread will find a stronger voice in times of crisis with their pets as a result. It's snowing in Minnesota today, and about 30 degrees, some of Churchill's favorite kind of weather. He loved to 'dig to China' and make snow angels. Pamela McElwain-Brown "How often have I said to you that when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth?" A Study in Scarlet, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, 1887 "Behind the Headlights: Presidential Limo" airs on the SPEED cable channel. Here is a link to the schedule: http://www.speedtv.com/programs/323/ More at www.jfk100x.com. "The Pretty Pig's Saturday Night", a new essay on "the SBT" is at http://educationforum.ipbhost.com/in...showtopic=2372. Scroll down the main Ed Forum page to"Assassination of JFK", click on "JFK Online Seminars", and you will find my essay, plus many others. Also, for more detailed limocentric questions and a backup of www.jfk100x.com please join jfk100x at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/jfk100x/ (Yahoo Groups). For information about my life away from research, visit www.themagicflute.org |
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