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Elvis has left the building....



 
 
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Old January 22nd 04, 07:12 AM
Tara G
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Default Elvis has left the building....

One of Finn's nicknames was Elvis, since he had an unusual effect on
female pooches. He was not friendly when it came to ther dogs, but the
select few females he would allow in his circle would become almost
fanatical about him. The running joke became that someone would
announce "Elvis has left the building" to whatever swooning female was
carrying on after Finn's departure. Maybe its stupid, but it feels
fitting here.

So I had to say goodbye to a dear friend today. The battle for Finn's
health has been long and nobly fought (the nobility part was his, and
his alone) but the day I knew was coming still came.....and came hard
for me.

His leg had gotten weaker and weaker over the last several months.
Since November, he's needed the assistance of his hip harness for even
short walks outside. I chose not to let him go then because his spirit
never seemed to weaken. He was still so full of fire.....and so we
kept on trying. Around the end of December, I could see the pain in
his eyes. He was hurting badly. I had always figured that he would
"tell me" when it was time for him to go. When I saw the pain in his
eyes, it struck me that he likely never would. He wasn't done
living.....he was just done hurting. So, we tried one last set of
antibiotics (and a new analgesic to dampen the pain)....but his white
blood count just kept spiralling off the charts. The new analgeseic
did its job of keeping him more comfortable, but that wasn't
enough....and his bad bad ouchies were getting worse too quickly.

His vet came over at 4 pm today, Jan 21.

Last night we had macaroni and cheese, about a pound of dog biscuits
(ok, that wasn't "we"....that was just him), two large marrow bones
(also him), cheese, and lots of chocolate ice cream (he decided right
there and then I'd been holding out on him all these
years....chocolate was a BIG hit). He made a special last trip to his
favorite local deli for meaty snacksfrom the buffet bar, and got to
hog the bed all night long without me trying to snatch back so much as
a corner of the blanket. He had some pain, but he was able to tolerate
extra pain meds, so thankfully he was mostly comfortable. Me, I was
pretty much up all night. I just didn't want to close my eyes. I guess
I figured I had the rest of my life to never see him again....so I
kept on petting him and just looking at his mug.

Some dear friends (and great admirers of my beautiful boy) came over
for pets and snacks. Part "sendoff party" and part "keep Tara from
loosing it" support group. He loved visitors so much (especially when
they were there to pay *him* attention), that this was a nice treat.
We had just come back from a long walk in the snow where he got to eat
as much of the white stuff as he wanted without any protestations from
me. He thought that was weird.....but cool. He got the most
heartwarming gift from heaven when a squirrel got so caught up in
mouthing off (NY style) that Finn came inches from actually catching
him. He was pretty pleased with his near catch and did a good
approximation of a strut. Finn got to leave this world feeling like
the mighty hunter we all knew he was. By the time I got him home, he
was pretty much done. I could tell he was still frustrated by all the
things he still wanted to follow, chase or sniff....but his body
really hurt and it would all have to wait until his next time around.

Time seemed to speed up so fast while we were waiting for the vet. One
minute it was only 3pm and I was arranging his meat and cheese plate,
and the next minute it was 4pm and there was the gentlest tap on the
door. Bonnie (Finn's wonderful vet) slipped in and gently guided us
all through what happened next. I don't remember everything, but I do
remember it being so quick....and so peaceful. I remember how his eyes
looked as the light that shone so brightly in them just dimmed. I
remember how his head just slowly got heavier in my arms. And I
remember the aching pain when it occured to me that he wasn't just
sleeping...that he was gone.

He left surrounded by a lot of love and support. I'm so very grateful
for the friends who came and helped me to help him. I'm so very
grateful to his vet for being so tender to him and for making his
transition so merciful.

I am so very grateful to him for everything that he gave me (which was
never less than everything he had) and I'm grateful for everything he
taught me.

God I miss his beautiful face.

Tara
 




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