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Fidget Report, Eight Months, and Other Stuff (long)



 
 
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Old April 14th 04, 02:11 AM
Kevin Michael Vail
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Default Fidget Report, Eight Months, and Other Stuff (long)

I haven't really been around these parts much lately...too much going
on. But today marks eight months since Toby died, and it doesn't seem
possible. Eight months? That's almost a year. And it was just about a
year ago that his diagnosis was certain. The combination, plus the rain
(as Suja mentioned) has left me feeling rather down.

I still expect to see Toby walk into the room and lie down under my
chair. I half wait for him to hop up onto the bed at night, or come up
into my lap (I'd have to lift him, he never managed to jump up on his
own) and sleep there for hours. Or do his little happy dance when it's
time to go outside. I miss everything about him, even the barking, and
some days, like today, it just seems unbearable.

And then there's Fidget, who still isn't eating regularly. We've tried
everything, no one can find anything physically wrong. We finally gave
up on the special diet (no grains) and basically, if he'll eat
something, he can have it. His spirits are good and he's quite active
and happy, but meal time is a running frustration. He's on cortisone
(natural) every 36 hours, which isn't good but at least he'll eat
something occasionally while on them...we're back in the "keep him happy
for as long as possible" stage, which I absolutely hate being in.

We took him to New Jersey with us this weekend. He was mostly mellow,
but there was a lot of activity (houseful of people) and he started
climbing into my lap whenever I sat down, and sitting there as long as
I'd let him. Fidget *never* does this, and has stopped since we got
home, but he needed the extra reassurance there. (It didn't help that
David's niece's husband is the only non-dog-person in the entire
extended family, so dogs aren't allowed on the furniture there...at
least not while he's home. David and I had to go to the store Friday
evening to pick up some things (David made food for the entire weekend,
recipes from their childhood that everyone likes but nobody has time to
make anymore) and Fidget tried to get some reassurance by hopping up
onto the couch next to Ron, who was at least kind enough to gently
suggest that he get down rather than being a tyrant about it.)

The reason we and most of the rest of the family were in NJ was that
David's sister, who has been through two rounds of surgery and
chemotherapy for breast cancer already, was taken to the hospital a
couple of weeks ago for what she thought were heart problems, but which
turned out to be her cancer...it has now spread to her lungs and several
other organs, and there really isn't anything left to do for it. She's
going through chemo again, but the only hope is that it will stop the
cancer from growing...there's no way to get rid of it now. The entire
family is having to deal with this--and she's always been the center of
it, the hub everyone else revolves around, so it's even more devastating
than it sounds. David's going to take another leave of absence from
school so that he can be free to go up there whenever she needs him.

So basically right now it sucks to be me or a lot of people close to me.
We're all hanging in there but I keep waiting for shoes to drop.

*sigh*
--
Bright eyes/burning like fire, | Kevin Michael Vail
Bright eyes/how can you close and fail? |
How can the light that shone so brightly | . . . . . . . . . .
Suddenly shine so pale?/Bright eyes | . . . . . . . . .
 




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