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Something About Dogs That Recently Dogged Me!



 
 
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Old May 9th 04, 08:48 PM
Sufistic Mystic
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Default Something About Dogs That Recently Dogged Me!

Heartfelt, whole-souled greetings to all...

Dr. Kambudzi Mshweshwe, the dean of Centre for Population Studies
(CPS) at The University of Zimbabwe, is a close friend of mine.
During a recent visit to Harare, I had a lively discussion with
him about the dynamics of the predator-prey theory and its effects
on population growth/shrinkage. In an "obiter dictum" kind of way,
Dr. Mshweshwe mentioned to me that there is no lost love between
Zimbabweans and dogs, because dogs are considered to be a nuisance.
Concomitantly, one would need look no further than the published
census of stray canine population in Zimbabwe. Estimates by the CPS
peg the figures at nearly 9 million males and 10 million females.

According to Dr. Mshweshwe, one of the methods used by Zimbabweans to
bring off a shrinkage in the population of dogs is to bait them with
carcass that is laced with finely-shaved chips of glass. Such glass
chips can be obtained by pounding ale flasks with the peen of a
hammer by angling it at roughly forty-five degrees, a feat even a
nine-year-old can accomplish effortlessly. Afterwards, elaborated Dr.
Mshweshwe, as the dog begins to chew on the seemingly-innocuous meat,
the glass lacerates the inside of its mouth, causing it to swallow
the meat faster than it noramlly would. Ultimately, this causes
internal bleeding in the dog, beginning at the esophagus and the
pharynx and continuing with the stomach and the rest of the digestive
tract. In conclusion, this renders the fateful dog dead long before
it has had a chance to purge the tainted meal as excreta.

In retort, I told Dr. Mshweshwe that, while I'm doggedly indifferent
about canines in light of my volunteer work that primarily centers
around preserving Lobo wolves and African hyenas, I find this
practice to be extremely tasteless and of the vilest anti-animalistic
instincts. I even went to the extent of saying that the Zimbabwean
society should do some deep soul searching and plenty of
self-house-cleaning.

Dr. Mshweshwe assented, but he was quick to add in his flamboyant and
familiarly-assured way that has made him a favorite in anthropologic
circles that this is a deep-rooted practice in the Zimbabwean society
and, given the aging populace, it will be nearly impossible to, er,
pardon the old cliche, "teach an old dog new tricks," where the
canine starts recognizing that the carcass is laced with slivered
glass.

In conclusion, fellow Netizens, the reason I am telling you about
this obscure story is because I thought it would be beneficial to
share such arcane knowledge with the astute USENET community.


Ciao A Tutti,

The Sufistic Mystic.
 




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