....or two babies?

....or two cats?

....or the whole kit-and-caboodle?

Free to a good home.

Will even pay shipping (but will not include return postage if you change
your mind).


This has been a BAD WEEK. The only good thing about it is that's it's over.

MONDAY: I'm trying to get two cranky boys (aka Baby Barnicles) out to the
car when Macula decides to push her way out the door (which she never does),
leave our property (which she never does) and COMPLETELY blow me off when I
use our Recall (which she has been responding to quite well during
training). She tears down the street, briefly herds a couple of ladies
pushing a stroller, and is finally cornered by me in a neighbour's back
yard: but not until she's (literally) stirred up a hornet's nest. She gets
off scott free, I get stung on the right forearm. Have I mentioned that I'm
right-handed? Or that I'm allergic to insect stings? Today is the first
day my arm hasn't been twice its normal size, radiating heat and throbbing
in pain. What good is training if it fails when it matters most?

TUESDAY: I have to take Chris to the doctor: he has a *horrid* case of
diaper rash that's not responding to the prescription cream we have. Get a
new prescription, only to discover that Insurance won't cover it because
it's available OTC ($30.). Doctor also advises that I let him run around
without a diaper as much as possible: as if I don't have enough cleaning to
do. Let him run around au natruel in the backyard, and my attention is on
trying to keep Alex from breaking his neck, Chris sits down in the sand box.
Do I need to mention he wasn't impressed as I tried to clean sand out of the
sores on his butt? Take Macula to Agility class where she does great with
the equipment but is a MAJOR Butthead towards the other dogs. She also
whines for 55 of the 70 minutes in the car to and from the trainer's.

WEDNESDAY: Wake up with an arm 3x its normal size and SORE. Call the
doctor and she advises I take Benadryl (which will knock me out and I won't
be able to take care of the boys), ice my arm as much as possible (Chris
wanted to poke holes in the ice pack, Alex wanted to steal it), and elevate
my arm in a sling (and *how* exactly am I supposed to change diapers with
one hand). Macula decides her game of the day is going to be harrassing
cats while inside and trying to dig under the kitchen porch (where we think
a skunk might occassionally hide) whenever she is let out. BTW, she also
decided it was a Barking Day. By evening, Chris's bottom looks like an
over-ripe and somewhat battered tomato: hubby takes him to an after hours
clinic where a pediatrician writes him yet *another* prescription. Did I
mention he's also getting another tooth and is also grouchy about that?

THURSDAY: Both boys are completely clingy. And whiney. And miserable.
And whiney. And demanding. And whiney. All I want is for them to learn a
few simple phrases like "bottle" or "juice" or "we're feeling a little
dehydrated and would like some liquid refreshment, please." Macula was
barking. And demanding. And barking. All I want is for her to understand
a few simple phrases like "off" or "down" or "shut the f--- up before I'm
forced to crazy glue your lips shut!" One of my cats, deciding she needed
to get into the act, requested my attention while I sat on the john by
clawing my leg. All I want is for her to find a less painful way to get my
attention (or to become a nail biter like me).

FRIDAY: Chris' bottom is no better. Macula wants to hunt the raccoon that
visited our backyard. A cat has peed on my sofa upstairs. The babysitter
cancelled.

Did I mention that I've lost my keys all week, I had 14 books due at the
library on Monday (and finally returned tonight), my credit card is maxed
out, and I can't find *any* chocolate *anywhere* in the house?

PLEASE tell me that this week has resulted from some wierd convergence of
the planets and isn't going to be repeated for another gazillion years.

Thanks for listening.

Marie
Owned and Operated by 5 critters and wanting some freedom.