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HELP: new puppy "ignoring" my 10-year-old son!



 
 
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  #1  
Old November 17th 04, 04:18 PM
Paul Bennett
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Default HELP: new puppy "ignoring" my 10-year-old son!

Hi all!!

My son and I are the happy owners of a 4-month-old, male puppy (3/4
bijon frise and 1/4 poodle)... I feel thirty years younger and have
never been in such heaven while the rest of my world can simply wait,
thank you very much!... (perhaps I'm turning into Nero, fiddling in
the flames with my roly-poly little white pile of puppy at my side...)

"Bingo" has been with us less than 24 hours. There is a problem. I
work out of my home, I went to pick up the puppy yesterday morning,
and my son was in school all day yesterday... I bet you already get
the picture (yes, I know, you already read the message headline...)

Eric **absolutely couldn't wait** for Bingo. The irony of it all is,
I was less hurried than Eric to get a family pet. Eric has *observed*
that Bingo tends to "go to Granddaddy" more, but has yet to articulate
that he feels snubbed.

I see a real problem developing here. Bingo is my happy little
shadow, and that doesn't matter whether or not Eric is also on the
sidelines.

If this continues, very soon Eric will feel marginalized by the little
love he has patiently waited so long for.

What should I do? I have to keep working out of my home, and I'm not
about to start home-schooling!!

Thanks for your help... namaste!

Paul, Eric and Bingo
  #2  
Old November 17th 04, 04:32 PM
Julia Altshuler
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24 hours is an awfully short time to see a problem developing. The
puppy is probably tired and overwhelmed; that's all. Bingo hardly knows
what's going on. I recommend a beginning training class that you all
attend. Your son and you will both learn the right ways to interact
with Bingo, and Bingo will start interacting with both of you.


--Lia


Paul Bennett wrote:
Hi all!!

My son and I are the happy owners of a 4-month-old, male puppy (3/4
bijon frise and 1/4 poodle)... I feel thirty years younger and have
never been in such heaven while the rest of my world can simply wait,
thank you very much!... (perhaps I'm turning into Nero, fiddling in
the flames with my roly-poly little white pile of puppy at my side...)

"Bingo" has been with us less than 24 hours. There is a problem. I
work out of my home, I went to pick up the puppy yesterday morning,
and my son was in school all day yesterday... I bet you already get
the picture (yes, I know, you already read the message headline...)

Eric **absolutely couldn't wait** for Bingo. The irony of it all is,
I was less hurried than Eric to get a family pet. Eric has *observed*
that Bingo tends to "go to Granddaddy" more, but has yet to articulate
that he feels snubbed.

I see a real problem developing here. Bingo is my happy little
shadow, and that doesn't matter whether or not Eric is also on the
sidelines.

If this continues, very soon Eric will feel marginalized by the little
love he has patiently waited so long for.

What should I do? I have to keep working out of my home, and I'm not
about to start home-schooling!!

Thanks for your help... namaste!

Paul, Eric and Bingo


  #3  
Old November 17th 04, 04:32 PM
Leah
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Default

(Paul Bennett) wrote:

What should I do? I have to keep working out of my home, and I'm not
about to start home-schooling!!


Let your son take over as much Bingo's care as possible. Have him feed the
dog, take him out, etc. Most important, I'd have Eric take him to a puppy
class. Even better if you could go with them, but let Eric do the handling.

Bingo is reaching the end of his critical socialization period, so a class
would help a lot with getting him exposed to strange people and strange dogs.
So choose one that has puppy play/socialization as part of the curriculum.

Let us know how it goes.

---
Canine Action Dog Trainer
http://www.canineaction.com
It's A Dog's Life
http://hometown.aol.com/dfrntdrums/m...age/index.html
Get Healthy, Build Your Immune System, Lose Weight
http://www.re-vita.net/dfrntdrums

  #4  
Old November 17th 04, 04:47 PM
Paula
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On 17 Nov 2004 07:18:01 -0800, (Paul Bennett) wrote:

Eric **absolutely couldn't wait** for Bingo. The irony of it all is,
I was less hurried than Eric to get a family pet. Eric has *observed*
that Bingo tends to "go to Granddaddy" more, but has yet to articulate
that he feels snubbed.

I see a real problem developing here. Bingo is my happy little
shadow, and that doesn't matter whether or not Eric is also on the
sidelines.

If this continues, very soon Eric will feel marginalized by the little
love he has patiently waited so long for.

What should I do? I have to keep working out of my home, and I'm not
about to start home-schooling!!


To some extent, a dog's favorite person is something that "just is."
Just like people seem to like some people more than others, dogs can
simply prefer one person to another. However, to a large extent, it
is also about the time and care given. I have two daughters, ages six
and nine. Since we have had dogs since they were very small, I have
been the one who did most of the feeding, caring and training and they
do tend to be more bonded to me although it is obvious that they adore
my kids, too. My oldest daughter and I had a discussion about this
just last weekend. She wanted to be the "favorite" and not just one
of the favored. So I had her start an experiment. She gets first
chance at feeding the dog she wants to bond more with. If she doesn't
feed her, I am not going to let her starve, but if she does then she
is the bearer of food. I made sure both my daughters worked on some
commands with the dogs so they would know that they have to obey kids
as well as adults, but now my daughter is working a lot with her
favorite dog on obedience drills. Since obedience drills are all
about treats and praise for showing off your tricks, they are building
their relationship in this way, too. It sounds like it might be hard
for you at this point since you like having Bingo as your shadow, but
if you want to do this for Eric, you, too, can take a backseat and let
Eric try to establish himself as the benevolent dispenser of food,
direction, treats and praise. If you let Bingo sleep in Eric's bed
but not in yours, that can also help. I don't have dogs in my bed
because they are space hogs who wake me up all night, but the kids
love having the dogs in bed with them. This ensures that even if the
dogs are by my side during the day, there is a special time for kids
and dogs to bond and feel really special to one another.

Good luck!

--
Paula
"I think I'm having the best childhood I've ever had!" ---Mimi
  #5  
Old November 17th 04, 05:56 PM
Marcel Beaudoin
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Posts: n/a
Default

(Paul Bennett) wrote in
om:

I see a real problem developing here. Bingo is my happy little
shadow, and that doesn't matter whether or not Eric is also on the
sidelines.

If this continues, very soon Eric will feel marginalized by the little
love he has patiently waited so long for.

What should I do? I have to keep working out of my home, and I'm not
about to start home-schooling!!


A couple of things that I (not a trainer) can see.

Dogs liek people different amounts. Take my dog for example. Since the
end of June, my wife has been at home all day with Moogli. He sleeps next
to her in the morning when I leave, and naps next to her when she relaxes
on the couch during the day. He spends *way* more time with her than I
do. Despite that, I am his favourite. If we are together and I get up to
do something, he will follow me to see what I am doing. If she moves, he
opens his eyes and looks at where she is going.

Like other posters have said, Bingo has only been home for a day (or two
now). You are the only constant in his life right now, so you are very
important to him. You offer comfort and security right now.

If you want Bingo to play with Eric, Eric has to be more enticing that
you are. Just ebing there probably won't be enough. Some suggestion that
I have (which probably mirror those of the previous posters) are the
following:

Have Eric take charge of feeding Bingo. Eric should take out the food,
fill the bowl, and put it down.

When you go into obedience class, Eric should be there and should play a
significant part of the training.

Have Eric play with Bingo. Find a toy or something that Bingo *loves* and
have him do it only with Eric, no-one else.

Have Eric get *really* involved with Bingo. Care, feeding, walking. ALl
of that.

--
Marcel and Moogli
  #6  
Old November 17th 04, 09:37 PM
Child
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Posts: n/a
Default


"Paul Bennett" wrote in message
om...
| Hi all!!
|
| My son and I are the happy owners of a 4-month-old, male puppy (3/4
| bijon frise and 1/4 poodle)... I feel thirty years younger and have
| never been in such heaven while the rest of my world can simply wait,
| thank you very much!... (perhaps I'm turning into Nero, fiddling in
| the flames with my roly-poly little white pile of puppy at my side...)
|
| "Bingo" has been with us less than 24 hours. There is a problem. I
| work out of my home, I went to pick up the puppy yesterday morning,
| and my son was in school all day yesterday... I bet you already get
| the picture (yes, I know, you already read the message headline...)
|
| Eric **absolutely couldn't wait** for Bingo. The irony of it all is,
| I was less hurried than Eric to get a family pet. Eric has *observed*
| that Bingo tends to "go to Granddaddy" more, but has yet to articulate
| that he feels snubbed.
|
| I see a real problem developing here. Bingo is my happy little
| shadow, and that doesn't matter whether or not Eric is also on the
| sidelines.
|
| If this continues, very soon Eric will feel marginalized by the little
| love he has patiently waited so long for.
|
| What should I do? I have to keep working out of my home, and I'm not
| about to start home-schooling!!
|
| Thanks for your help... namaste!
|
| Paul, Eric and Bingo

Paul, its pretty typical for the dog to love the head of the household the
most. And you haven't exactly chosen a dog whose breeds demonstrate a great
love for children. You cannot MAKE Bingo pay more attention to you than
Eric, but you can make Eric the keeper of some of the most important
resources in Bingo's life. Could Eric feed Bingo? Be in charge of which
toys Bingo gets to play with today (the others should be stashed away)? Is
Eric old enough to take Bingo to training class?


  #7  
Old November 19th 04, 05:13 AM
JoKing
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Posts: n/a
Default

Our pup totally ignored or ran away from my husband for the first 3 weeks we
had him (the pup not the husband ;-) He stuck to me like glue.

My husband, who gets up early, then then took over the feeding as well as
the morning "constitutional". That did the trick and now they both enjoy
their early morning time together (and I get to sleep in a little).


"Paul Bennett" wrote in message
om...
Hi all!!

My son and I are the happy owners of a 4-month-old, male puppy (3/4
bijon frise and 1/4 poodle)... I feel thirty years younger and have
never been in such heaven while the rest of my world can simply wait,
thank you very much!... (perhaps I'm turning into Nero, fiddling in
the flames with my roly-poly little white pile of puppy at my side...)

"Bingo" has been with us less than 24 hours. There is a problem. I
work out of my home, I went to pick up the puppy yesterday morning,
and my son was in school all day yesterday... I bet you already get
the picture (yes, I know, you already read the message headline...)

Eric **absolutely couldn't wait** for Bingo. The irony of it all is,
I was less hurried than Eric to get a family pet. Eric has *observed*
that Bingo tends to "go to Granddaddy" more, but has yet to articulate
that he feels snubbed.

I see a real problem developing here. Bingo is my happy little
shadow, and that doesn't matter whether or not Eric is also on the
sidelines.

If this continues, very soon Eric will feel marginalized by the little
love he has patiently waited so long for.

What should I do? I have to keep working out of my home, and I'm not
about to start home-schooling!!

Thanks for your help... namaste!

Paul, Eric and Bingo



 




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