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"Pure Positive Training Is NOT POSSIBLE"



 
 
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  #1  
Old February 21st 05, 08:22 AM
Unsurreality
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default "Pure Positive Training Is NOT POSSIBLE"


It's Only Alimentary, Dear Watson wrote:
Employment Opportunities - Must Be Simian Or It's Legal Guardian -
BABOONS NEED NOT APPLY.


Yes, you TOO can become a total jackass idiot! Sign up today for
AssHowe's program and you are guranteed to become a complete asshole
who knows nothing!

This is the opportunity of a lifetime. The only restrictions a

1) You must reside in a nursing home.
2) You must treat people like total crap.
3) You must NOT have an IQ over 75.
4) You must know NOTHING about dog training and you must be willing to
keep it that way.
5) You MUST be willing to lie at all times.

If you qualify, AssHowe will contact you.

Good luck!

HOWEDY People,

The Amazing Puppy Wizard is EXXXPANDING
HIS FREE WWW Wits' End Dog Training Method
to include IN-HOWES visits from PROFESSIONAL
SIMIAN DOG TRAINERS for a small, satisfaction
money back guaranteed fee.

Employemt opportunities EXXXIST for compasionate
apes and monkeys to be TRAINED FOR FREE with
the assistance of any ten year old HUMAN child under
the guidance of their FREE copy of The Amazing Puppy
Wizard's FREE WWW Wits' End Dog Training Method
Manual to SUCCESSFULLY handle and train clients dogs
to PERFECTION in WON IN-HOWES visit, JUST LIKE
HOWE The Amazing Puppy Wizard had done for forty
years PRYOR to comin to the WWW, thanks to V.P.
Al Gore.

THANK YOU, V.P. Al Gore!

Additionally, applicants MUST be willing to
legally change their name after successfully
completing training to "Major Haggerty".

The Amazing Puppy Wizard assures you there
will be NO PAIN FEAR FORCE or INTIMIDATION
inflicted on ANY dogs by your WORKIN simian in
the performance of his duties as a PROFESSIONAL
DOG TRAINER.

BABOONS NEED NOT APPLY.

The Amazing Puppy Wizard {) ; ~ )

HOWEDY Robin,

----- Original Message -----
From: "Robin Barr"
To: "The Puppy Wizard"
Sent: Saturday, December 11, 2004 9:30 AM
Subject: HELP needed ASAP


Howedy Jerry,


From: "The Puppy Wizard"
Reply-To: "The Puppy Wizard"
Date: Sat, 11 Dec 2004 09:02:11 -0500
To: "Robin Barr" , ,

,
,
Subject: HELP needed ASAP

HOWEDY Robin,

Cc's for EMBARRASSMENT FACTOR:
; ;
; ;

"Robin Barr" wrote in message
...
In article
.com,
wrote:

You are simply full of ****.


Jerry - you realize that his statement
above was meant for me, not for you?


Oh yes, of curse! I'd posted a short "Thank
you, Robin." when I first saw your reply to
mauijnp although I can't find it on the forum;
seems the NG servers been actin up for a
couple of days.

Perhaps you're not familiar with mauijnp's
posted case history. I'd been kindly and
polite to her when she first posted, but as
you've SEEN, people PREFER to punish
and avoid problems than rehabilitate their dogs.

In fact, I couldn't wait to read your post to Mrs.
Puppy Wizard. I share many of the case historys
we've got here with her as she's WON of my
most successful students, although she was
WON of my MOST DIFFICUT, as she'd had
many years of professional training lessons
and showed English Mastiffs and although
she'd known of me for six years had only
come to me as a student when all the other
methods failed to rehabilitate a couple MINOR
problems like ringWIZE and some little aggression
issues and STUFF, on accHOWENT of SHE
HEARD my METHODS are NOT EFFECTIVE
on accHOWENT of I DON'T HURT DOGS to
train them.

I used to DREAD her arrival on accHOWENT of
she'd engage me in idiotic discussions abHOWET
traditional methods and HOWE my methods conflict
with them and EVERY THING she'd been taught and
well, you know HOWE it goes. She was VERY WELL
TRAINED by the INCOMPETENTS who GOT her to
the point where she'd HAVE to ASK a FLUKE for advice.

You just can't make SENSE to someWON who's
been indoctrinated to a blelief system that is built
on faerie tails and inaccurate / incomplete observations
of lab or wild critters or the dismal failure of C-HOWENTLESS
others who are likeWIZE at a loss for a remedy.

I'll BET MY LIFE I can TRAIN a CHIMPANZEE
to TRAIN ANY DOG NEARLY INSTANTLY just
like HOWE you and I do. I'll call him Major Haggerty.

BWEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAHHAHAHHAAA!!!

I'm fixin to go find me a dog lover who owns a chimp
and make IT a PROFESSIONAL DOG TRAINER!

In love and light,

Your Puppy Wizard {) ; ~ )


Cc's for EMBARRASSMENT FACTOR:
; ;
;
;



  #2  
Old February 21st 05, 08:27 AM
Sonia Farley
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

ROFLMAO!!


 




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