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How hard is too hard?



 
 
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  #1  
Old March 8th 05, 03:23 AM
Marie
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Default How hard is too hard?

We are (I think) making good progress in teaching the boys to respect the
animals in the house. We've managed to teach Chris that pulling Macula's
tail is *not* acceptable, but if he wants to stand where he will get whapped
in the head by the wagging tail, that's his choice :-) Still needing work
is teaching them that the cats are to be left alone when on their tower, but
tomorrow is (yet) another day.

Hubby and I are trying to clarify one thing, though; so that the boys get a
consistent message: how hard is too hard when petting an animal?

We've found that it is not as straight forward as we might wish: with all
the grandparents in the house this last month, we've discovered that
everybody seems to have a different idea of where "gentle" ends. The
animals, being highly tolerant critters, don't seem to be helping: they'll
stick around and tolerate "pats" that sound louder than a wrestling
smack-down. Can't ask them to be as gentle with the pets as they are with
each other--we've entered the push-shove-knock-down-drag-around stage

When you are training, how do you define "gentle" in this type of situation?

Marie
Alex is on the mend, Chaos abounds. All is Right With The World.


  #2  
Old March 8th 05, 04:16 AM
Rocky
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Marie said in rec.pets.dogs.behavior:

When you are training, how do you define "gentle" in this
type of situation?


I recall a post where Janet trained kids that only open hands
were allowed when petting the dogs.

--
--Matt. Rocky's a Dog.
  #3  
Old March 8th 05, 04:35 AM
Paula
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On Mon, 7 Mar 2005 21:23:09 -0500, "Marie"
wrote:


We've found that it is not as straight forward as we might wish: with all
the grandparents in the house this last month, we've discovered that
everybody seems to have a different idea of where "gentle" ends. The
animals, being highly tolerant critters, don't seem to be helping: they'll
stick around and tolerate "pats" that sound louder than a wrestling
smack-down. Can't ask them to be as gentle with the pets as they are with
each other--we've entered the push-shove-knock-down-drag-around stage


I didn't let my kids pat the dogs when they were that small. They
could only pet, so they had to touch softly and then move along the
fur. When they pat a back, they tend to get harder and harder with
time without even trying to. If they are trying to move the hand down
the fur instead of just patting in one spot, they tend to have a more
gentle motion to it and not get rougher over time. At least this is
what I found with my own kids, my nieces and nephews and various kids
that have run in and out of my house.

As far as other peoples' definitions, I hold my kids responsible to my
standards. If they do something they are not supposed to do when they
are with grandpa or Auntie Robin or whoever, they have to answer to
me. So, I would say that you should teach them what you think is
gentle and hold them to that. This actually came up this past
weekend. My ex borrowed my vehicle because it is larger than his and
he was helping his sister move some stuff. He took one of my
daughters with him. They went to a drive-through to get something to
eat and he bought her a drink. Even though he tried to tell her it
was okay, she insisted that she could not drink it in my car because
she was on drink restriction (she and her sister got sticky stuff in
the cup holders, so now they can't drink in the car). She knows that
if she gets caught, she will be on restriction twice as long even
though her dad said it was okay because she has to follow my rules in
my car, so she did the right thing.

--
Paula
"Anyway, other people are weird, but sometimes they have candy, so it's best to try to get along with them." Joe Bay
  #4  
Old March 8th 05, 01:42 PM
Janet B
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On Mon, 7 Mar 2005 21:23:09 -0500, "Marie"
wrote:


Hubby and I are trying to clarify one thing, though; so that the boys get a
consistent message: how hard is too hard when petting an animal?

We've found that it is not as straight forward as we might wish: with all
the grandparents in the house this last month, we've discovered that
everybody seems to have a different idea of where "gentle" ends. The
animals, being highly tolerant critters, don't seem to be helping: they'll
stick around and tolerate "pats" that sound louder than a wrestling
smack-down. Can't ask them to be as gentle with the pets as they are with
each other--we've entered the push-shove-knock-down-drag-around stage

When you are training, how do you define "gentle" in this type of situatio


Stroking. Patting can too easily become hitting. Pet from the neck
to the base of the tail only. No other place unless an adult is
helping (tummy rubs).

Faces are too easy to make mistakes (although one little boy I took
care of used to crawl up to Teddy, put his fingers in Teddy's nostrils
and gently lift to look at his teeth. This was under my supervision
though, and very limited).

Lucky Macula is a girl - boys on their backs get way too tempting for
toddlers at times. Noooooo - don't grab THAT!

If the boys want to kiss her - back of head only IMO. Never face to
face, no matter how much you trust her - the twin factor does make
them a little more intimidating and overwhelming in my opinion.


--
Janet B
www.bestfriendsdogobedience.com
http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/bestfr...ence/my_photos
  #5  
Old March 9th 05, 04:07 PM
Shannon
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I used to demonstrate - take their hand in mine, unfold it (if necessary)
and guide them exactly how hard or soft to do anything, all the while saying
"This is gentle. This is how you should pet a dog." It does take a while
to sink in. And you do have to interrupt when you see it happening too
hard.

We still practice, and probably will until the day I die, asking permission
of owners to pet dogs. A few months ago, we actually encountered someone
who politely responded "no, she's not friendly with strangers". It was
great - no bitten people, no angry owner, win-win.

-Shannon

"Marie" wrote in message
...
We are (I think) making good progress in teaching the boys to respect the
animals in the house. We've managed to teach Chris that pulling Macula's
tail is *not* acceptable, but if he wants to stand where he will get

whapped
in the head by the wagging tail, that's his choice :-) Still needing work
is teaching them that the cats are to be left alone when on their tower,

but
tomorrow is (yet) another day.

Hubby and I are trying to clarify one thing, though; so that the boys get

a
consistent message: how hard is too hard when petting an animal?

We've found that it is not as straight forward as we might wish: with all
the grandparents in the house this last month, we've discovered that
everybody seems to have a different idea of where "gentle" ends. The
animals, being highly tolerant critters, don't seem to be helping:

they'll
stick around and tolerate "pats" that sound louder than a wrestling
smack-down. Can't ask them to be as gentle with the pets as they are with
each other--we've entered the push-shove-knock-down-drag-around stage

When you are training, how do you define "gentle" in this type of

situation?

Marie
Alex is on the mend, Chaos abounds. All is Right With The World.




  #6  
Old March 14th 05, 06:49 PM
Sionnach
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Posts: n/a
Default


"Shannon" wrote in message
...
I used to demonstrate - take their hand in mine, unfold it (if necessary)
and guide them exactly how hard or soft to do anything, all the while

saying
"This is gentle. This is how you should pet a dog."


Yep. That's how I taught my eldest niece, starting when she was about a
week old. By the time she was 2, she was pretty good at it.
Interestingly, as an adult (she's now 24), she's not into keeping pets
herself, but remains very good at interacting with them - mine all adore
her.


 




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