We have all heard tales of strange people living in Montana; the
Unabomber, the freedom militias, the poor sods stuck in the Federal
Witness Protection Program.

I assure you the majority of people living in Montana are friendly,
polite, are reasonably sane, and will go out of their way to lend a
hand to strangers.

Now, I am a cynical Californian transplanted in Montana. I cannot help
but feel suspicious of helpful strangers.

Oh, the clerk wants to volunteer the use of his truck to haul a new
desk to my home, does he? Back off! I know how to use this pepper
spray!

This actually happened, sans threats and pepper spray.

I bought a desk at the local Staples, and then realized I had no way
to get it to my apartment. The clerk offered to haul it to my place,
free of charge and after work hours.

No, he was not hitting on me! The guy was at least sixty years old. He
volunteered because I needed help. His no-strings-attached offer blew
me away.

Desperate, I agreed. He delivered the desk as promised, said, "Glad I
could help", and left.

"Weird," I breathed. "What is wrong with these people?"

The clerk's admirable attitude is commonly found throughout Montana.
Even the children are reasonably polite and helpful.

After three years of living here, though, I remain wary. You can take
the girl out of California, but you cannot take the pepper spray out
of the girl.

The communities in this state are heavily family-oriented. Community
barbecues are held in a park near my home during the summer. Fourth of
July picnics, duck races (don't ask), actual church socials--if the
event is wholesome family fun it happens here.

I do not attend these functions.

I have more born-again Christian relatives in this state than should
be legally allowed. A relative is usually connected to whatever
community event is being held.

If I attend a single one of these events, I will be expected to attend
every single event following. If I fail to do so, all of my relatives
will knock on my door at the same time to find out why.

The above is an example of how closely knit the communities are. Most
people here are

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