YARD SIGN MAN

Every town has one. They used to be mostly a rural thing.As suburbia
encroaches on farmland, Yard Sign Man is usually the last holdout, the old
guy who refused to sell his property when offered ten times the actual value
by Big Corporation and ended up with a WalMart behind him, access driveways
or run-off ditches on either side and no neighbors because they all took the
money and left. Cars constantly stream by his house and stop at the
newly-installed traffic light right smack-dab in front of his driveway.
Yard Sign Man actually likes this because it means more people get to read
his proclamations.

Yard Sign Man is disgruntled. Not quite elderly, but on the downward slope
of middle age, he still has plenty of kick left in him. He potters out to
the shed and paints large plywood signs , black on white, all capital
letters, that say things like "President insert name of current one here
is a criminal and deserves the death penalty", "______ Township is the
American Gestapo", "The Government consists of liars and fools and
Jack-booted Thugs ", " Elected officials conspire to crucify our Civil
Rights!" (with wooden cross added for effect).You get the picture. These
signs are placed right out at the edge of his property, facing the road.

He's gotten used to being called a nut and a crazy old coot, so when you
look at him and shake your head , he knows what you're thinking. But he
knows the truth...he is the only sane man in a world filled with cheats,
cons, government drones, and sleepwalkers. Thank goodness he is here to open
our eyes!

Yes, just about every town has a Yard Sign Man. Yard Sign Man had just
started to take his act on the road by affixing plywood placards to his
truck and driving around town on his errands. Then, he discovered the
Internet, and found this thing called Usenet which is just like a Yard Sign,
but set out at the edge of the Information Superhighway for millions of
passers-by. He might even have a website. So many more people can be
enlightened that way! Sure, most don't like his signs, so they try to avoid
his road these days, but he lives for the day that a lost soul happens by
and gets innocently drawn into his world. He does appear rational a small
percentage of the time, after all.

Oh, and after you read his signs, take a look at the hubcaps nailed to his
shed. If yours happens to be there, he'll gladly sell it back to you, at a
more than fair price!